Assalamu alaikum, I attended the masjid last night for Iftar and Tarawih, which was the first time I’d done this since when I wasn’t able to fast, which was during the first few days of Ramadan. I’d been to the masjid for the iftars last week, after I’d been sick, but as I’d not been quite over this cold thing I just didn’t feel up to staying. And in short, staying for Tarawih, as opposed to going home right after the Iftar, was really just what I neded spiritually, and socially, too, as it’s turning out.
I’ve been trying to remember if I even went to Tarawih last year, and I don’t think I did, because I can’t even remember who was reciting the Qur’an that year, and a lot of the sisters that I’m seeing at the masjid on a regular basis, I don’t remember most of them either. Although it’s also true that I didn’t go to the old masjid very much either. Our old masjid is a converted house, and it was/is very crowded, especially in the women’s area, and if you get more than a few sisters there with the kids, well, it quickly becomes very crowded and uncomfortable, and I start feeling very claustrophobic. Which is why, up until we moved into our new masjid, I didn’t go there very much. In fact, I think that I’ve probably been to the new masjid more in the month or so that it’s been opened than in the whole three years that I’ve been down here in this part of Florida.
Now, it’s as though I can’t get enough of it lol. I can go into the reception area, I guess it’s called, they have folding tables and chairs that they can set up to serve the food, and then put them away once everyone is done eating, and then go into the separate prayer area to pray. In fact, there isn’t any eating/drinking allowed in the prayer area, Mashallah, though I didn’t know this the first two nights I was there, and only learned of it when I overheard a sister talking to another sister about how it wasn’t allowed to eat or drink in the prayer area and how “it wasn’t fair”, etc., (oops), to which, after I finished eating, I promptly explained to the other sisters that I wasn’t aware that eating and drinking wasn’t allowed, because, well, although there were/are signs alluding to this fact, no one made me aware of them, and as the sisters, Mashallah, just brought me food, I just assumed it was OK. And I mentioned that from that point forward, I’d not eat in the prayer area anymore. I really wish someone would have told me, though, I hate feeling like I’m being treated differently than everyone else, and I don’t want to feel like I’m getting special treatment and/or that I’m being allowed to do things that everyone else doesn’t get to do, ostensibly because I’m blind or something. And speaking of which, I’ve pretty much learned my way around the masjid, or at least, the parts that I’d be most likely to frequent, the only hazards being the kids who’ve not learned to move out of my way, lol, and the shoes piled up in the doorway to the prayer area, although I might make a kind suggestion that as I know there are shelves around, that people really need to pick up their shoes, because it really is a safety hazard.
And of course, the whole “kids in the masjid” thing, well, as I don’t have kids, I’m not sure I really should say anything, however, having kids screaming during the prayer, running back and forth through the prayer area, etc., is extremely distracting! Not to mention at other times when prayer is not going on, having kids running around like the masjid is a playground, though I guess it’s easy for me, the childless one, to expect kids to sit quietly, or play quietly, and behave, and not have races, wrestling matches, etc., going on. So I really want to be careful how I approach this issue. I mean, it’s easy for me to say that kids should act in a certain way, or that someone, anyone, even if it’s not the actual parents, should be keeping an eye on the kids, just so they don’t end up in unoccupied parts of the masjid and end up getting hurt or breaking something, but then someone would say “well you don’t have kids, you don’t know”. And yes, kids will be kids, but I just can’t get the “church mentality” out of my head. That when you went to church, even if your parents weren’t there, even if your parents weren’t particularly religious, that you behaved yourself, even if you weren’t listening to a sermon, even if it was just a church supper. Because if you didn’t, either you’d be disciplined right there by whoever saw you misbehaving, or you’d be disciplined at home once your parents found out, or both.
So when I’m in the masjid, and kids are having a roaring game of “Red light, Green light” going on, while the prayer is going on, and/or kids are yelling, screaming, etc., and you can barely hear the recitation of the Qur’an, or the “Allahu Akbar” that tells you it’s time to change positions in the prayer, there is something within my very being that wants to grab them, make them sit down and behave themselves. Because I tell you, if I’d have pulled anything like that as a child, someone most assuredly would have done that to me.
But anyway, as I said, I hesitate in even broaching this issue because firstly, I don’t have any kids, and secondly, maybe I’m looking at the masjid all wrong or something. Maybe it’s me who’s got the problem, I mean, I know I can be very impatient with people, kids and adults alike. So I really don’t like to let this sorta thing get to me, because maybe it’s not “everyone else” who’s got the problem, lol. And in any case, it’s not dampened my current enjoyment of the masjid in any significant way. In fact, as I said, I really needed this, as it’s seemed to jolt me back into some sort of spiritual rhythm again. And because I’ve been coming to the masjid more, I’ve been getting to know some of the sisters too, and this really can’t be a bad thing. I’m starting to wonder how many of the “boundaries” in my life were real ones, and how many were ones I’d set up myself, and that is another post for another day.
