Blindness-related Short Stories

I’m really loving these stories. Wish I’d have found this site sooner.

From the Thought Provoker site.

Thought Provoker

Quoting from the site…

ADJUSTMENT TO BLINDNESS AND VISUAL IMPAIRMENT
by
Robert Leslie Newman

2008 Dr. Jacob Bolotin Award Recipient

•I was awarded one of the first ever Dr. Jacob Bolotin Awards for my work with THOUGHT PROVOKER. These awards are given to recognize outstanding individual and organizational achievements in the blindness field. The awards are to be presented annually by the National Federation of the Blind with support from the Alfred and Rosalind Perlman Trust. Follow this link to read the full article as it appeared in the award brochure.

This web site is devoted to changing what it means to be blind through the promotion of the human potential to successfully adjust to and live with blindness and visual impairment. It is meant for the blind, the visually impaired, professionals involved with this population such as vocational rehabilitation counselors or therapists, teachers and educators of the blind and visually impaired, families and friends interested in adjustment to vision loss, all those interested in peer counseling and blindness, individuals looking for blindness related information or guidance or suggestions or materials or adaptive equipment or consumer groups or etc.

Toward this goal, THOUGHT PROVOKER, a web based discussion forum on blindness and visual impairment is presented and available for reading and being responded too.

Additionally featured are short stories highlighting the successful adjustment to blindness through the development of a positive attitude and philosophical foundation, to the acquisition of alternative techniques in order to function independently.

Finally, there are links to other sites that also promote a positive approach to blindness and visual impairment.

If you have any comments or requests, write me at the following address.

Robert Leslie Newman
Author and Moderator
email: Newmanrl@cox.net”
Voice: (402) 556-3216

He posts a lot of interesting scenarios, and I highly recommend his site. The current Thought Provoker is •151 . THE BRAILLE PRINCESS- What is the importance of learning to read as early as a child can? I’m about to go over there and comment myself, as I think learning to read Braille (as well as learning to use a cane/to move around as independently as possible) does a lot to increase the self-esteem and confidence of blind children, which will also help them later in life.

I didn’t start learning Braille until I was 5, and then I had to go through an extra year of schooling called “advanced kindergarten” or “developmental First Grade” to get up to the level where I could start regular First Grade. I’m not sure why this was, though, because it sure wasn’t because I wasn’t smart enough. What I remember was the teacher or teacher’s assistant working with me for a short time, then either leaving me on my own or sending me to play while they went to work with another student. I also remember not learning to use a cane until I was 10, and this was only because we almost moved to another city where I’d probably have to attend public school, thus it was imperative that I have some cane skills. I remember my mother being extremely upset about this as, in her research, she discovered that in some parts of the country, blind kids were learning to use canes pretty much as soon as they could walk. My mother couldn’t understand why supposedly one of the best schools for the blind *snort* in the country wasn’t doing the same, and the best thing we could come up with, based on things we heard about the administration at the time, was that teaching blind kids to use a cane would “make them too independent” and thus “harder to control”. But wasn’t that the point of attending a school for the blind, so that you could learn to be “independent” and successful?

To be fair, though, when a new administration began to take over around my seventh grade year, I noticed that younger and younger kids began to use canes (and perhaps this was because the superintendent at the time had been a former mobility instructor himself).

I also remember my mother wanting me to learn typing skills as well, and this was something the school would absolutely not budge on, they would not start teaching kids to type/”keyboard”, until the seventh grade and that was that. So my mom taught me how to type, at age ten, with my brother having to read the book to me if my mom couldn’t. And it was funny, because when I finally started typing class in the seventh grade, and explained to the typing teacher that I already knew how to type, she said “but you’ve not had proper instruction”, yeah, whatever, no matter that I know where the home row was, how to place my fingers on the keys, etc., to her I’d not had “proper” instruction, because it was something my mom had taught me at home.

Add to this the fact that they continually promised me in high school that I’d “get to go to public school” for at least a couple hours a day, so I could take advanced placement or college credit classes, every year they’d promise me this and every year they’d find some reason not to do this. Perhaps it was because my parents had no influence, or no money, or perhaps it was because I fell in love with a black kid from Gary (that they subsequently and conveniently decided he had too much vision to attend the school even though he’d been there for like a couple months before I met him). Maybe it was residual retaliation or anger against me because of pressing sexual assault charges against a fellow student (when perhaps they’d prefer that I not do such a thing because of the bad light that would potentially be cast on the school). Perhaps it was because of the allegations of bad treatment I made against a houseparent that almost caused my parents to take me out of the school and send me to public school around the fourth or fith grade. To which the school’s response was at one point to pull me out of class, sit me down with my teacher, head of the elementary department, and deen of students, and pretty much tell me that I’d never make it in public school, because it would be too hard for me, ’cause the kids would tease me, and why am I doing this anyway? I’m just making too much trouble over nothing. I’m just making things up. I’m just lying, against someone who supposedly no one else has made these allegations toward before. And how could I do something like this, how could I do such a thing. And btw, we want this to stop! Stop going home and telling your parents lies about her and us! And OK, go on back to class now and don’t talk about this, don’t tell anyone anything about this. We just want the best for you. We don’t want you to suffer out there in the big bad world, who hates you because your blind, or feels sorry for you, or thinks that you can’t do for yourself. We are the ones who want the best for you, etc. It’s one thing to hear sighted people say this, because even at such a young age, I could expect such ignorance from sighted people, even those who supposedly were trained to teach the blind. But from my also blind teacher? This was a complete shock to me! I remember thinking to myself something along the lines of “she’s brainwashed” or “they’ve gotten to her” or something like that. And feeling let down that she wasn’t on my side, tht she wasn’t standing up for me. Because she’d been a heretofore role model for me. But no more. I never looked at her the same after that.

Or the time said houseparent and supervisor pulled me and another fellow student out of bed at night one time, they forced us to tel them everything we’d told our parents about said houseparent. I don’t think they let us go to bed until like 10:30 or so, I just remember it was really late at night, and I was tired, and the rest of the kids were asleep. I remember how scared I was, how both my friend and I were crying, how we could hardly talk! But I remember trying to compose myself, and thinking that I’d tell them everything, because I had nothing to hide, no matter how afraid I was. And also knowing that I’d still go home and tell my parents anyway. And this was the same houseparent who would listen in on my phone conversations to my parents to see if I was “talking about her”, and I knew she was doing it, I could hear her footsteps outside of the houseparent’s office when I’d be on the phone talking to my family, and I only know this because later on she’d call me into her office and tell me that sh’ed been listening so I needed to be careful what I said, because she knew I was talking aobut her, read “lying” about her, and how could I do such a thing when she only wanted the best for me? And she also did this one time when she sent me back to my room one night because she didn’t like the way I’d organized my locker or something, and I was back there talking to myself, because I was upset and angry, and saying to myself what I wanted to say to her but was too afraid to. And I remember hearing her walking back and forth outside of the room door, and it was soft-like, like she was trying to be as quiet as she could, and I remember thinking “who are you fooling? I can hear you, but I’m still going to talk because I have nothing to hide”. And of course, after enough time had passed, she pretended to come walking back into the room, tell me to come to her office, and then she informed me that she had, in fact, as I suspected, been listening to me, but she still wanted me to tell to her face what I was “saying behind her back”. But at the end of that ordeal, it was the same thing, “don’t tell anyone” “don’t be too upset about this, we just want the best for you”. Etc.

If I could only tell you the mixed messages I got from that place, I could write a book! Becuase I had a lot of good experiences there, and in some ways I got a good education, but in other ways, that environment stunted me, made me question myself, caused me to have self-esteem issues and feelings of self-doubt and confusion that I still grapple with, in some form or another, to this day. And I think my parents, or at least my mom anyway, feel cheated because they thought they were sending me to the “ritz Carlton for the Blind” the way they talked to my parents when they came to their house for outreach. Though I now wonder, given what my mom knows now, if she’d have sent me there. But we can’t go back. My parents made the best decision they could for me at the itme, so I don’t hold them responsible. I hold the school responsible, who put their own feelings ahead of the needs of students. Who would talk and gossip openly about other students right in front of you. Who seemed to care more about the security of their jobs than what the parents or students wanted. Who openly had their “favorite” and “not-so-favorite” students. As I said, I could go on and on. So yeah, there was a lot of good, but I’m not going to gloss over the bad like it never happened. Because both the good and the bad of it stays with me till this day.

And so I’ve digressed. Sorry. Enjoy the Thought Provoker, which, I guess, has provoked a lot of thoughts in me lol.

Thought Provoker.

Copperas Cove Leader-Press – Dog Fight

Assalamu alaikum,

On Thursday, May 7, after picking up Rusty from the dog groomers, Ballou and Rusty along with her daughter and two grandchildren went to Taco Bell. The family placed their order, picked up their food and was about to eat when Cynthia, a night manager, approached their table and asked, “Is that a Seeing Eye,” Ballou recalled.
“No, he’s a guide dog, a Leader Dog,” Ballou said to correct the manager.
Ballou said not all guide dogs are Seeing Eye’s. It depends on what school they go to and her dog went to the Leader Dog school.
“It’s like calling an A&M student a Longhorn,” she said. “I was trying to educate her that there are more kinds of guide dogs, not just Seeing Eye. But she had no part of it.”
The manager told Ballou the health department would shut them down if they saw the dog in the restaurant and then asked for identification for the dog as a guide dog.
Ballou showed her the special harness Rusty wears identifying him as a Leader Dog and stood her ground as she began to feel harassed.
The manager said she was going to call the cops and Ballou said, “Go ahead, save me the call.”
Six Copperas Cove police officers in three patrol cars arrived on the scene.
When the police arrived, Ballou said they did not identify themselves and the first officer, whose name she was never given, told her “Lady, you and the dog have to get out.”
She told the officer Rusty is a service dog and Texas law allows him to be with her. She showed him a law book she carries with her with all the state and federal laws for the blind across the country, but said the officer would not look at it.
She told the officer she just moved to Copperas Cove and said she can’t believe they don’t know what the law is. She said the officer told her “Welcome to Copperas Cove, if you don’t like our laws, leave.”
She said the same officer told her, “You don’t look blind” because she was looking at him while he spoke to her. She said it is common courtesy in the visual world to look at someone when they speak to you and you don’t have to be sighted to do so.
A second officer on scene Cpl. Shane Kieltyka did read her law book, she said, because she believes he understood she was trying to diffuse the situation.

Copperas Cove Leader-Press – Dog Fight

The thing is, while I sometimes feel the need to “educate” when people call my dog a “guide dog” or “seeing eye dog”, sometimes it’s just not the right moment to “educate”, because you know what the person is asking. By saying “no my dog is a Leader Dog”, that just started the conversation off on the wrong foot to begin with. Not that any of this behavior by the manager or police, is excusable in the least but… Another thing I wondered was why she only showed them the harness, why not the ID cad? This came up on the ACB-l list, to which someone asserted that “Leader Dog doesn’t issue ID cards”, which is not true, I am using my second dog and they have issued ID cards for both of my dogs and I carry mine with me along with my work ID and state of Florida ID cards.

I tend to get a bit sensitive when people who’ve not gone to a particular dog guide school make assertions about said school such as “such-and-such school doesn’t do traffic checks”, etc., and then you talk to someone who’s actually gotten a dog from that school and find that what you heard about said school was not correct.

And Leader tends to get a lot of negative comments from other blind people, such as “they produce bad dogs” or “they give dogs to people they shouldn’t”, etc. or “I heard that” (insert whatever “bad” thing you want here), usually along the lines of not training the dogs properly, giving out unsuitable dogs, etc.

The thing is, there is a reason why there are 8, at last I checked, schools to train dogs to assist the blind in this country. And while the training methods are quite similar, each school does things slightly differently and thus some schools will appeal to some but not to others. If some schools were truly as “bad” as some make them out to be, then I’d think they’d not have students coming to them, some multiple times, to get dogs, their donations and other funding would probably dry up, and they’d not be successful. The thing is, just as I don’t engage in the “screen reader wars” that some people like to engage in, I don’t engage in the “dog guide wars” either. There is a reason why we have many different screen readers in the market, just as there’s a reason why we have many different schools from which to choose if we’re interested in getting a dog.

Anyway, to get back to the original subject of this article, my first reaction was to think “well that’s Texas what do you expect?”, and I know this is not a good thing to think or say. And I really hope this woman gets some kinda justice even if she picked the wrong time to “educate”, the truth is, she was refused service under the wrong assumption that a “leader dog” wasn’t a true service dog but a “seeing eye” dog was. And some of the cops’ comments were just really uncalled-for. I’d have been upset, to say the least, if it’d have been me. And I’ve been refused service many times by restaurants and just didn’t see it worth pursuing. I just made it a point never to eat there again and to tell others not to either.

One incident that sticks in my mind particular, was the very patronizing guy at a Giordano’s Pizza, I think it was on Randolph Street in Chicago, and I’d just moved up to East Chicago, Indiana. I’d gone intoChicago for a job interview, and had finished and wanted to grab some lunch before catching the train and heading home. My roommate had come with me and we were trying to decide whether or not we wanted McDonald’s or something lese, and we saw a Giordanos pizza, and we decided to eat there, but as we started into the restaurant, a man stopped us at the door, and politely told me that though I had a really nice dog, that he couldn’t let us in the store. I was too shocked to say anything, and angry too. And hungry… So I just said OK, he wasn’t worth my business anyway, or anyone else’s I knew, and turned around and walked out.

I probably should have filed some kinda complaint, but I was cold and tired and hungry and it just wasn’t worth it. Besides, I’d been refused service at the small restaurant that was at the Gary bus station, and though my complaint was taken down, I’m not sure whatever came of that. And what would you get as compensation anyway, a free pizza? I just decided that little things like that aren’t worth fighting for.

The thing is, discrimination against dog guide users is a very real thing, and it’s not just us “bad Muslims” doing it either. I’m almost sure that at some point, probably when I least expect it, Chloe and I’ll be discriminated against. And it won’t be by some Muslim cabbie who considers us to be unclean. It’ll probably be by someone, much like these people in Texas, who have decided that, for whatever reason, my dog isn’t allowed to accompany me to wherever it is I’m trying to go.

Thoughts on My New Phone

Assalamu alaikum, just pontificating on my new phone: The Samsung Blackjack II. And btw, the link to the Mark Taylor CandleShore Blog is http://mark.candleshoreblog.com, and I’ve found this blog to be a very informative and entertaining read, not to mention indispensible, in trying to learn how to use this phone.

Thoughts on the Death of Sheldon Scott – a blind man who fell to his death in an elevator shaft

Leader Dogs trains puppies for special service – Quad Cities Online

Leader Dogs trains puppies for special service – Quad Cities Online

Just starting out on his journey to being a Leader Dog is Julie Hogenson’s 13-week-old golden retriever Belle. They got paired up six weeks ago, but Ms. Hogenson said a good breed stock family will start training the dog for service from Day 1.

Julie was Chloe’s puppy raiser, and Chloe was her first puppy…

Goalball in Hijab?

Assalamu alaikum, I’m still trying to see about playing goalball. I.e., is there anyone playing around here, how do I get my foot in the door, can I just play for fun, or do I have a chance in actually competing, should I have started this when I was younger, etc. And then I thought, could I play in hijab, do they have rules regarding dress? the International Blind Sports Association is the body who oversees goalball competitions for international (obviously, lol) events, and the USABA (United States Association of Blind Athletes) website has the rules but I didn’t look at them yet. Hmmm… I’d not see where hijab would be a problem… When I played goalball before, I had some football pants (because of the hip pads), and I can’t remember if I wore shorts, but I don’t see why I couldn’t wear loose fitting pants/a shirt, and hijab, and you have to wear knee/elbow pads (see my previous clips regarding goalball to see why), because if you don’t, you’ll get really bruised up, though sometimes you get bruised up anyway. The only problems I could see would be if the rules only allowed for certain types of uniform/dress, and if the clothes I chose to wear were too heavy, that might impede my movements. If I could find some loose fitting, modest, sports attire, that would be what I’d need, I’d think.

I’m starting to get really excited about this, if I could actually do it, though, I’ll be real disappointed if I can’t. If they tell me hijab isn’t allowed, or I’m too old, etc., I’m not sure if I’d have the motivation to fight that lol. It’d be one thing if I didn’t just pop out of nowhere, and decide out of the blue that I wanted to play (which isn’t quite true, but that’s how it might appear). If I’d been playing for a while, or was playing just before and just after taking shahadah, then perhaps I’d not feel so, I don’t know, like ready to walk away at the first “no”.

All I know is that I need to get involved in something. I’ve had some recent online experiences that have really made me start thinking that I need more of a life off of the computer and outside of my house and not just work either. And at this point, I don’t care much what it is… Volunteering, attending neighborhood meetings, heck, I might ask my husband if there’s anything I can do at the store. I need to do something, though.

More Goalball…

I think that goalball is my obsession of the week, lol.

Don’t mind the references to Jesus, etc. This appears to be a documentary on goalball.

I wonder if there’s any goalball teams in this area? Is there a normal age limit? Is 33 too old to play? Hmmm…. I feel the competitive spirit rise again… Maybe that’ll change after my first time playing, and realizing how out of shape I am, or the first time I get a good hit to the face.

My Little Pony #is Islam-Approved#

My Little Pony (is Islam-Approved) « Muslimah Media Watch

Assalamu alaikum, a couple of dear sisters forwarded this to me this morning, and I wanted to blog about it before it became old news/stale. Although I’d considered waiting until I finished doing my taxes, but then I’d probably be too tired to say anything. However, as I knew that I really wanted to blog about this, I thought I might as well go ahead. So in between bites of my dinner, here goes…

Firstly, Sis Aaminah brought up a good point that I’d not considered as I hastily read the post before starting work this morning, which was in relation to the following:

“…this belief is not supported anywhere in the Qur’an, which only mentions dogs favorably. This means the idea of dogs as unclean doesn’t technically have a basis in Islamic law.”

To which Aaminah said:

Um, yeah… good article except for this. Writer has no business speaking to what is and is not Islamic law, esp if she doesn’t even seem to know that hadiths comprise a significant portion of how the law is defined and explained.

Good points. And I also wanted to make a few points regarding Muslims and dog guides, from my own very limited experience and knowledge. Firstly, even in the Maliki madhhab, where dogs and their saliva are considered to be pure, you still find an aversion to dogs in the house and I also believe that you still can’t keep a dog as a pet, you’d still have to have a specific need for them, even if they are considered to be clean.

It has also been told to me that even if I came across a masjid following the Maliki madhhab, for example, I’d still not be able to take my dog there, I’d still have to leave the dog at home. And, that choosing to use a dog could possibly reduce my marriage prospects.

However, there are Muslims out there, even if only a handful, maybe, that use dog guides, and Mona’s reasons for deciding to use a horse instead of a dog may not necessarily apply to all Muslims, and her reasons may not necessarily be because of religion either.

I was also curious as to why the journalist went to a CAIR spokesman to get the “low-down”, so to speak, on Muslims’ aversion to dogs? Could they have sought out a scholar? Or did they get “scholar” or “person of knowledge” confused with “civil rights organization/activist. Or, did they just think that all Muslims are just monolithic and that any Muslim would be able to answer for another Muslim’s reasons/decisions. After mentioning this point, it has been brought to my attention (as noted in the comments), that the spokesman in question is indeed an imam, and thus could be called upon by both Muslims and non-Muslims to address a question such as this. However, the reference to CAIR was a bit jarring, given that we weren’t so much dealing with a civil rights issue, in this case, but dealing with the choices an individual made to use a horse instead of a dog to guide them. Whatever the reason CAIR was even mentioned at all, that is not really my main contention, and given what I understand now, regardless of whether or not CAIR had been mentioned in reference to him or not, he is a more than adequate spokesman to address this topic.

Perhaps if the author of the article highlighted in Muslimah Media Watch would have done their research/homework, perhaps they’d have found out that while Mona decided to get a guide horse because of her family’s aversion to dogs (which could have caused a real problem as she was living with them), their aversion may not have necessarily been because of Islam. I know plenty of non-Muslims who don’t like dogs, don’t want them in the house, etc., not to mention the many blind people who decide that a dog is not for them and would rather use a cane instead, and their religion has nothing to do with it.

And I’ve never come across a scholar, and I’ve asked plenty about it, that has told me that I couldn’t have a dog guide. Before I knew about the Maliki madhhab, I was given recommendations about keeping clothes/place clean etc., if the dog’s saliva came into contact with me, my clothes, or my prayer area. However, I found this to be a bit of a hardship for me, as I was constantly worried about my dog’s wet nose touching me, or wondering if any saliva got on to my clothes from my dog sniffing me, etc.

And this is primarily why I began following the Maliki madhhab, because as the dog’s saliva was considered clean, I didn’t have to worry about this. And I have to be honest and say that I wish more Muslims knew about this opinion, and for those that are aware of it, that they would give the opinion the same status as other issues where differences of opinion may exist. For example, in my experience, when I’ve brought up to people the “dog issue” and the Maliki madhhab’s differing view on it, than that of other legal schools, I’ve gotten a dismissive “oh but that’s a weak opinion”, or the “where’s your dalil/proof” answer, or the “if Imam Malik says that something in his madhhab contradicts the Sunnah, that we should take the Sunnah and discard the madhhab”, or something to that affect. This usually comes after I either stumble and stammer and otherwise can’t quote chapter and verse of any ahadith/proof backing up my assertion, or whatever I do say doesn’t satisfy the questioner.

And when I decided to convert to Islam, when I had my first dog, and when I decided to get my second dog after my first dog retired, I knew that these sorts of things would happen. I knew that I’d probably be passed over by some brothers because of the dog (like blindness didn’t cause me to get passed over anyway), I knew that I’d have to once again prove my worthiness as a Muslim, and I know that many people would disagree with my choice to get a second dog. However, I decided that I had to do what was best for myself, and not listen to others or let other people influence me, especially since I knew that what I was doing was permissible.

As far as brothers passing me over for marriage, by the time I got my dog, that didn’t matter anyway, because I’d already gotten remarried. However, had I still been single, having a dog was just something I was going to do, and if having the dog was going to be a make or break thing, that would have caused marriage discussions to end, then I’d just have considered it the brother’s loss and kept on moving.

I was passed the point of settling… And my thinking was that if the prospective spouse couldn’t deal with me having a dog, there were probably going to be other things about me he couldn’t deal with either.

Anyway… I’m really digressing here but… it might have taken a little work, however, this article could have been a bit more nuanced than it was. For example, why could they not have tried to find other blind Muslims on the net who use dog guides? Or, non-Muslims who’ve chosen to use guide horses?

Guide Dogs Inspire Paula Abdul to Join Campaign

Assalamu alaikum, while this can’t obviously be a bad thing, and while my first reaction was “wow, that’s pretty cool”. My next reaction was kinda like “meh”. I have a strange, I’m not sure how to explain it, I guess you could say I get kinda prickly when celebreties decide to champion a cause. Perhaps I’m just being a party pooper, maybe it’s the latent bitterness at the “sighted world” rearing its ugly head, I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it out myself as I am writing this.

I mean, are we educating people on the training and the use of dog guides, or is it just a “wow that’s really cool” kinda thing. Because unfortunately many people out there could use some educating. And if Paula Abdul somehow uses Amiercan Idol to do it, I think it could be a good thing. But if it’s somehow parading a foster puppy raiser in front of the TV or, worse for me anyway, parading a blind person and their dog in a “oh look how cool that is” kinda way, that’d be what I’d have a problem with. I guess my question would be, are we going to educate people or just make a spectacle out of them, and further infuse stereotypes of what the blind, and in this case, their guides can do?

Also, I’m wondering how much having a blind contestant on the show affected this decision? Again, not that that’s a bad thing, I’m just musing. And on that note, I’m off to get ready for work for the day. Just thought I’dpost this before running along.

On Blindisms: What Are They and Do I Display Them?

Assalamu alaikum, talk about being put in my place…

I was watching the “We Are One” concert on HBO, and Stevie Wonder and Shakira (who imho sounded awful) were performing the song Higher Ground together. I went to ask my husband if Stevie was displaying, what we in the blind community refer to as “blindisms”. These consist of things like rocking back and forth, taking our fingers and pushing on our eyes, and rapidly moving our heads back and forth (the blindism that Stevie Wonder is well-known for displaying). I asked my husband if he was doing that, my husband said he was, and I said, in a tone of disgust and derision, “Oh how embarrasing”. To which my husband replied, when I asked, “do I do that?” “yes you do, and most blind people do”. I was shocked! Talk about deflating my ego!

I know I tend to move my head around, in fact, I’m doing it now. I notice I do it when I’m writing. I’ll cock my head to the side, then I’ll hold my head back, and then I’ll move it forward. But it’s kind of in a slow motion, not in a rapid, back-and-forth movement. Or at least, I didn’t think I did that.

Now I’m like, “oh my” what other blindisms am I doing in public that I don’t know about? Am I rocking back and forth (I used to do that when I was a child, especially when I was listening to music, I’d rock to the beat of the song). And hopefully, I don’t do the horrid flipping your hands about in the air… Oh boy… Now I’m thinking I look like a freak or something!

But I think most of this sort of thing is limited to blind people who’ve been blind their whole lives. I don’t know of any people who lost their vision later in life exhibiting this kind of behavior. I’d also be interested in knowing if any research has been done into why we do this? Because a lot of this is quite common among blind people.

Anyway, I’ve tried to stop my various blindisms, some I have, like rocking, but I still press on my eyes, and I do it without even thinking about it. When we were kids we were told that if we didn’t stop doing that, that it would change the whole structure of our faces, that we’d press our eyes all the way back into our sockets, and I think that’s happened to me. I know my eyes are further into my head than other people’s, and my forehead isn’t as rounded as other people’s. I mean, it’s not like my eyes are completely sunken in, but I do wonder what my adult facial features would have been like if I’d not been putting my fingers in my eyes as a child. And I remember being scolded about this for as long as I can remember! And no method that was ever tried ever broke the habit.

Blind School Experiences: Introduction and Education

Assalamu alaikum. The first thing I’d like to focus on is my education. Then I’d like to move on to extracurricular activities, and then to what I’d like to call “personal” experiences, basicly anything that’d not be covered in the education or extracurricular categories. Also, my purpose for writing this is not so much for research purposes, academically speaking, but just to share my experiences. And as I’ve said before, I’d be interested to know others’ experiences who attended a residential school for the blind or any other residential school for that matter.

As I stated before, the first topic that I want to cover is education. The school for the blind that I attended had pretty much three levels of education. The first called PVC which stood for pre-vocational Curriculum. This was later changed to “ungraded”. I was not placed in this level, I think that this was for children who were mentally disabled in some way, I don’t like to use the terms mentally handicapped or mentally retarded. Since I didn’t fall into any of these categories, I was not in any of those classes, and thus don’t know much about their educational program. My guess is that they did as much for these students as they could, to get them ready for some sort of life outside of the school. Though what that was depended on the student’s ability.

The next level was called “alternative” I think, and was for kids who weren’t necessarily mentally disabled, but who for whatever reason couldn’t keep up with regular classes. I think in later years, “ungraded” pretty much covered the aforementioned PVC and alternative groups.

The next level was the normal, regular classes, and this was the level that I was eventually put into. And I’d say that I got a pretty good basic education. I learned the basics, reading, math, English, and so on. And I also got instruction in Braille and orientation and mobility (that’s pretty much being taught how to travel independently). As I got older, I started taking piano and shop class (actually called industrial arts), and home economics. And of course, I had gym class.

However, while I got a pretty good basic education, when I got into high school, I didn’t feel I was challenged enough. I kept being told that there would be a chance for me to possibly take classes at a nearby high school, something that both I and my parents really pushed for, especially when I was getting ready to go to college, as I’d possibly be able to take advance placement classes that could earn me college credit. However, for some reason or another, I’d say for one excuse or another, I was never given this opportunity. Usually, I was told there wasn’t enough room, that the students of the regular high school got first dibs on the classes, and that those of us from the school for the blind would be fit in if there was enough room in the class we wanted to take. However, IMHO, I don’t buy this excuse because other students (who just happened to be the favorites of the administration) got to attend school either at North Central High School, or the career center attached to the school. I often wonder if matters unrelated to my education had to do with me not being able to attend school off campus. But I’ll get more into that later.

Suffice it to say that in a lot of ways, I got a good education, I made good grades, and as far as I can tell, was well-liked by my teachers, and I, also, liked my teachers. Although some had a tendency to like to gossip about other students, and in many cases students shared many aspects of their lives with their teachers, which, in turn, contributed to the climate of gossip between teachers, staff, and students. And I, unfortunately now that I look back on it, was one of those students, at least until I got older and certain events in my life taught me that perhaps making my life an open book wasn’t necessarily the best thing to do. The thing is, I think when teachers and other staff know so much about you, it can sometimes impact their ability to be impartial toward you. For example, if the staff knows that you’re dating a student that they don’t particularly like, they can make life very difficult for you, not to mention the person you’re dating. I’ve known of at least two cases, where a particular student was dating a person that the staff considered to be “bad”, and measures were put into place to keep the two students apart, and if the “bad” student had enough vision, they would all of a sudden have too much vision to attend the school and thus be forced out. Although one wonders how they had bad enough vision to be allowed into the school in the first place, yet suddenly, with no change in their visual acuity, have too much vision to attend the school? Of course, if the “bad” student had little or no vision, the school couldn’t very well justify kicking them out. This sort of thing happened to me, and another student I know, both of us going on to have long-term relationships with the boys that they through out. So perhaps the strategy of throwing out undesirable kids to keep them from dating the “good students” was a strategy that kind of backfired. And while the two examples I know have had the boys as the “bad students”, I’d be interested to know if there were any instances where a “bad” girl was kicked out because they were dating a “good” student.

In short, the school provided me with a decent education, they taught me a lot of things that I might not have gotten enough of had I gone to public school, however, in many ways, I also feel that I was held back, because of the self-interest of the school. Because I was not only discouraged from going to public school at home (by being told that I’d never make it, that the kids at public school would tease me, that I’d not be able to do the work, etc.), but I was also told, sometimes implicitly, that if I didn’t succeed, if I had to come back to the school for the blind, that it would be a kind of shame, because I didn’t make it in the sighted world. And in one particularly painful incident, when my parents threatened to pull me out of school, because they were not adequately addressing the issue of a mentally abusive houseparent, the school literally sat me down, with the dean of students, the head of the elementary department, and my fifth-grade teacher, and I was told outright that going to public school would not be a good thing for me, was asked, in a rather sarcastic way, how I’d get my work done (after they’d refused to teach me to type), what I’d do if the kids would tease me, that I’d not be able to handle going to public school, etc. And that I’d pretty much end up coming crawling back to them in the long run anyway. And besides, what I was saying was happening to me by said houseparent wasn’t really happening to me, I was just not remembering properly, or I was lying, because how could I say such awful things about someone who’d never do any of the things that I said she’d done, and she was such a good person, etc., etc. So just go back to class like a good little girl, stop telling your parents all of these awful things about us, and let’s just forget that any of this ever happened, OK? Now, I’m not sure if any of this had to do with why I wasn’t allowed to keep attending the school for the blind, yet attend a local public school half-time. I was told by a fellow student, well after both of us had graduated, that perhaps if my parents had money, maybe I’d then have gotten to attend public school, that if they had some kind of clout to throw around, then things might have been different for me. However, I’m not sure if this was the case or not. I do know that at every parent teacher conference I had during my high school years, I and my parents were told that next year, I could possibly go to a local public school and attend classes, and at the beginning of the next year, I was given some lousy excuse for why I couldn’t do this, while at the same time watching other students get to do the very thing that I’d been told I couldn’t do because the school had no room. And I have to say that I felt short-changed by this, especially when I could have possibly gained college credit.

But I think the staff really didn’t want too many kids going off to public school, because firstly, they’d not have control of the students and secondly, they’d not have jobs. Because if the student body fell too much, then they’d not need the staff anymore. And control of the students was another matter. While on one hand, we were told that we needed to be independent at some point, I can’t ever remember being encouraged to actually go off campus, or even walk around campus by myself. The only exception would be my orientation and mobility instructor, who I’ll forever be grateful to for telling me that I’d one day be an independent traveler and that I’d one day be able to go and do whatever I set my mind to.

However, I think much of the administration, for the majority of the time that I was there, wanted to control us and keep us in our places, viewing independence as a threat and not necessarily a goal to be attained. We weren’t encouraged to use canes, we weren’t even taught cane skills until we were 13, and then I only saw a few students around the school using canes, and this was considered a privilege, which my mother found to be strange, as she’d researched other schools’ methods and some schools had canes in kids’ hands at pre-school age. She felt that as soon as a blind child was walking, they should have a cane in their hand.

I began learning to use a cane at 10, and that was only because there was a possibility that my father was going to get transferred, and it was something that I absolutely had to have. And although my father ended up staying where he was, they kept teaching me how to use the cane. My mother also wanted them to teach me how to type as well around the same time as I started learning how to use a cane, but they told her that they only start teaching kids how to type at the seventh grade, and they’d not start any sooner with me. So my mom started teaching me to type at home.

I could go on and on regarding all of this, but I want this to be just a taste of my experiences and perhaps I’ll elaborate later and give more experiences. As I said, I got a decent education, but in many instances, I felt short-changed and feel that I could have gotten more out of my educational experience if people were being impartial, not playing favorites, or otherwise looking out for their own self-interests.

The Story of Braille

Assalamu alaikum, I’m a staunch advocate for Braille literacy, and it doesn’t matter how much technology is out there. There is no excuse why a blind child should not be taught Braille, or any blind person for that matter. How if they choose to use it, that’s their choice. But they should at least be taught to use it. Because using Braille is pretty much like reading print material. Sighted people still use computers and other technology, even audiobooks. However, that doesn’t stop them from reading standard printed material such as newspapers, books, etc. Why should it be any different for Braille? I heard this documentary on the BBC World Service last night and just knew I had to blog about it. And as a blind person who uses Braille, Braille literacy is something very important to me, and very close to my heart. And as an aside, I’m not only using speech output to write this post, I also have a refreshable Braille display as well. So there you go…

BBC World Service – Documentaries – The Story of Braille

Possible Series: “Blind School Experiences” The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly”?

Assalamu alaikum, it’s not just the “bad” (some of which I referred to in yesterday’s post)that makes me who I am. It’s the “good” too. Because I’d not be who I am if it wasn’t for my parents, teachers, etc., who pushed me to succeed and to be the best that I could be. As I said yesterday, if it wasn’t for the school for the blind, there are a lot of experiences that I’d never have had. So I don’t want to give the impression that things were all bad. Unfortunately, though, it’s sometimes only the bad that you remember.

However, I was musing today, wondering why it is that some “bad” things stick with you more than others? An example with this would be the time I had to go to juvenile court to testify against a boy who sexually assaulted me (another long story). I was about 14 or 15 at the time. I know what happened to me, I could even relate the whole series of events today. However, because no one saw him, and I was totally blind and only could identify him by voice, the judge felt he had no choice but to find the boy not guilty, because ostensibly, my blindness prevented me from identifying him visually which, in turn, caused enough reasonable doubt (and the standard of guilt has to be “beyond a reasonable doubt”), such that he couldn’t find him guilty, although he told the prosecutor after the trial was over that he felt, personally, that the boy was guilty. The message I got is that if you are blind, and you can’t see your attacker, even if you can identify him (or her) by voice, or some other means, your testimony is just not valid and it’s not going to lead to any kind of conviction or finding of guilt. God forbid if anything like this ever happened to me again, I’d darn sure not report it! Why put myself through all of that? Because when this sort of thing did happen to me, I did all of the “right” things, the things I was told that I should do. I told my houseparent, I told my parents, I decided to press charges, I wanted to “fight” as I put it (although the rumor was the school wanted to sweep it under the rug, go figure). I went through all of the interviews, the state police coming and taping my side of the story, I was interviewed over and over again, to insure my story didn’t change! I had to tell a lot of different people what happened to me. I was embarrassed, I felt ashamed, I felt violated, I felt vulnerable! And this boy pretty much got nothing! To my knowledge anyway, as after this (and another incident) happened, he was no longer attending the school. Which was a good thing, because if they had let him back, my parents stated emphatically that they’d have pulled me out of there and kept me home/sent me to public school. And the school just couldn’t have that. So anyway, I went through all of that only to be pretty much told that what happened to me really didn’t happen, or that no one could prove that it happened, because I was blind. And oh, the defense attorney made me look like a little liar who was just trying to pin something on this “poor little boy” because I didn’t know who’d done it actually! So anyway, all I’m saying is I understand why the majority of rapes and sexual assaults are not reported. Because it’s not the perpetrator that usually suffers, but the victim.

The blind school I went to was, from what I’ve heard, one of the better schools for the blind in the country, but I’m telling you, some of the stuff I saw there, the politics, the gossipping of the staff members about other students and staff (many times right in front of other students), the favoritism they showed toward other students, the mistreatment of students they didn’t like? I don’t like to say that I hold grudges, because I don’t feel that I do, but when I recall this time in my life, and certain events which happened during that time, it still evokes raw emotions. I don’t know if that’s normal or not. I’m not sure if it’s something that I should “get over” or not.

And I don’t like to boo-hoo about it because I know than many others have gone through a whole lot worse that I could even ever dream of. So I really don’t want this to be a “feel sorry for me” type of post. Part of why I’d started this blog in the first place was to create a platform to try to hash the things that I felt comfortable enough sharing with the world out, and perhaps get some feedback, advice, discussion, whatever. And as my mood has gotten better since Sunday evening lol, at this point, I don’t see any reason to change anything that I’ve done in the past (except to utilize my password protect and “private post” features a lot more freely).

So there you go. Not that this is going anywhere lol. But I feel like some of my best posts, the posts that seem to flow more freely, are the posts where I just start writing! The “planned posts” never really have worked for me. But I find myself sometimes revisiting certain events that have happened in my life, to try to gain some wisdom from them, to try to learn from them. And since I have become Muslim, I try to put an Islamic outlook on things. Perhaps if Allah didn’t will for me to go through these things, I’d not have been the person that I am today. And whatever “wrong” has been done to me, Inshallah, I’ll be rewarded for my struggle in dealing with it. Putting things in that light makes me feel a whole lot better.

I’d had the idea that perhaps I should start a series on some of my “blind school experiences”, both the good and the bad. And I’m wondering if any other blind bloggers have done this. That is something that I’ll have to research. Perhaps if I did start something like this, I could share my experiences with others who may have gone through similar experiences. Or at least give those who didn’t go through something like this a taste of what I went through. It seems like a good idea now, and I’d like some feedback on what others think, but who knows, it might not seem like such a good idea later on.

SCSU student leaves training at Technical High School | sctimes.com | St. Cloud Times

Assalamu alaikum, this is the original article linked to in the “Engage Minnesota” piece I blogged earlier.

It seems that a Somali student threatened to kill the dog, due to his “religious concerns”. OK, well, I don’t think I should comment right now! It’s one thing to have cleanliness/purity issues with the dog, but to threaten to kill the dog? OK… Assuming that this was what the student actually said, well, this is very unfortunate. As are some of the comments so be forewarned.

Blind Access Journal: Computerworld Article: Blind users still struggle with ‘maddening’ computing obstacles

Assalamu alaikum, found this article via the Blind Access Journal blog. The blog author links to the original article where, as he says, there are some disturbing comments. And if they’re anything like the comments from that Wall Street Journal article a while back, I don’t care to read them! I’m not in the mood for rampant/nauseating displays of ableism tonight.

Freedom Scientific – PAC Mate Omni Mobile Computing for the Visually Impaired

Assalamu alaikum, I’d love, love, love to have this toy! I saw one when I was at Leader Dog and I loved it! I shoulda bought it when I had the chance! But the price tag is a bit hefty (why is that with access products for the blind?) It’s too bad they don’t have a payment plan or something.