From Weather Underground’s Braille Page:

Forecast as of 4:10 am EST on November 23, 2009
Today
Cloudy with scattered showers and slight chance of thunderstorms. Highs in the lower 80s. South winds around 5 mph shifting to the north in the afternoon.
Chance of rain 50 percent.
Tonight
Cloudy with a 20 percent chance of showers. Lows in the mid 60s. Northeast winds around 5 mph.
Tuesday
Mostly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of showers. Highs in the lower 80s. Northeast winds around 5 mph.
Tuesday Night
Mostly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of showers. Lows in the mid 60s. Northeast winds around 5 mph.
Wednesday
Mostly cloudy with a 50 percent chance of showers. Highs around 80. East winds 5 to 10 mph.
Wednesday Night
Mostly cloudy with a 40 percent chance of showers. Lows in the lower 60s.
Thanksgiving Day
Partly sunny with a 30 percent chance of showers. Highs in the upper 70s.
Thursday Night
Partly cloudy in the evening then clearing. Lows in the mid 50s.
Friday through Sunday
Mostly clear. Highs in the lower 70s. Lows in the upper 40s.

table with 2 columns and 20 rows
Updated: 6:53 AM EST on November 23, 2009
Observed at Winter Haven, Florida  
Temperature
68°F  
Humidity
100% 
Dew Point
68°F  
Wind
WSW at 4 mph  
Pressure
30.06 in (Rising)  
Conditions
Fog 
Visibility
0.2 miles  
Clouds  
Yesterday’s Maximum
81°F  
Yesterday’s Minimum
68°F  
Normal high
77°F  
Normal low
57°F  
Record high
88°F (1973)  
Record low
37°F (1956)  
Sunrise
06:55 AM (EST) 
Sunset
05:31 PM (EST) 
Moon Rise
12:05 PM (EST) 
Moon Set
11:32 PM (EST) 
Moon Phase
Waxing Crescent
Waxing Crescent

From Weather Underground:

Special Weather Statement
Statement as of 6:19 am EST on November 23, 2009

… Areas of dense fog will affect the Nature Coast and Tampa Bay area
until 900 am EST…

Areas of dense fog will affect the mentioned areas with significant
impacts to driving conditions along major interstates and highways.
Reports from around the area have indicated visibilities dropping
below half a mile over large areas with localized visibilities at
a quarter mile or less range.

The fog will reduce visibility to near zero in some areas. Motorists
should slow down… especially along Interstate 4… 75 and 275. Use
low beam headlights… or find an alternative Route. In
addition… motorists should be prepared for rapidly changing
visibility within the fog bank.

… And I didn’t sleep well. Had one of those nights where I kept waking up, though I keep reminding myself that at least I can work from home today.

But I’m just dragging today, and kinda have this cough thing / a bit of throat irritation going on.

Think I’ll relax/watch the news or Weather Channel or something until time to start work. Because I don’t think I want to try to go back to sleep. Then I feel worse than I did when I initially woke up.

Didn’t watch the American Music Awards last night. Which shows you just how far I’ve come, used to be a time I’d not miss it. Now, I just don’t care.

Spent the night having a discussion on what a marmoset was with my husband, and browsing Twitter via my cell phone.

Listened to ESPN radio talk about football, and it sure doesn’t hurt that the Colts are now 10 and 0 *yay!*.

And other than that, nothing much to say I don’t think. At this point anyway. I’m kinda in short week/holiday mode anyway, so hopefully that will make the day go faster.

Assalamu alaikum, I had a really good day! I went outside with Chloe this afternoon, after listening to the Colts game (they’re 10 and 0 by the way *yay*!) My husband grilled some chicken and made some rice and vegetables to go with it. So I played with Chloe a bit, ate dinner outside where I could enjoy the warm weather and nice breeze. Then I came back inside to pray Maghrib as it had gotten dark outside and I guess we still have mosquitoes because I think they were starting to come out.

I get to work from home this week, and it will be a short week as I have Thursday and Friday off for Thanksgiving. This works out well for the upcoming Eidul Adha holiday. Though with all of the turkey and other food for Thanksgiving, coupled with the lamb and whatever other food we have for the Eid itself, I feel quite gluttonous and that bothers me! I feel the need that if we can’t invite anyone we know over for some food, that I feel like just going out and grabbing some random person off the street and inviting them in for something to eat. Now obviously, I’d not actually do this. But I’ve told my husband that he should invite someone he knows over for some food. I’ve even thought of just calling people and saying “hey wanna come to Florida for a visit?” Although pretty much everyone I know, as far as I know, has their own plans too, and will probably have plenty of food to eat themselves, or Inshallah they will anyway.

So I’m looking forward to this week, because even though I have to work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, it almost feels like a vacation as I don’t have to go into the office. And my step-daughter is here for the week too! So I’m sure that all kinds of fun and frivolity will insue, especially with a Golden Lab in tow. I just have a feeling that it’s going to be a really good week, Inshalah it is one.

Assalamu alaikum, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what kind of a Muslim I am. Or, I should say, what kind of a person I am. Muslim only being part of that. The thing is, I have a way of seeing both sides of things, of seeing the gray area, of seeing the nuances in things. Perhaps that’s why the one-size-fits-all approach to Islam that some people have, or the Salafi/Wahhabi strain of Islam, with its attendant harshness and severity, and lack of flexibility, never appealed to me. Though at the same time, it’d not be fair to clasify me as some kinda liberal Muslim who is watering down the religion either. Though I’m sure some would put me in that cateogry and that’s OK.

See, some things, I’d be considered to be a Liberal on (such as issues of social justice), whereas with other things, I’m quite Conservative, and then I have an opinion that says that maybe for me it’s not OK, but for someone else, that opinion might be different. There are many issues like that. For example, I think abortion generally is wrong, except in cases where the life of the mother is in danger, and possibly in cases of rape or incest. I don’t, however, think that abortion should be freely available to anyone who wants it. Having said that, though, I’m not going to go on any kind of pro-life march, I’m not going to picket abortion clinics, and I’m not going to seek to change the laws one way or another. I just don’t feel the need to do that, as at this point, my opinions don’t fit into either of the camps campaigning on either side for a change to the law as it stands now.

Homosexuality is another topic that I kind of have a nuanced view on, because it’s obviously not right, so I’m not going to campaign for gay marriage, but I’m also not going to be a vigilante and try to find out what people are doing in their own bedrooms either. And I also don’t think people should be targeted for being gay either. Because until our country truly becomes a “Christian” or some other “religious” country, and while we’re a secular nation, people can pretty much do what they want.

But I can’t support gay marriage on religious grounds. I just can’t, and I can see where that issue is compared to the civil rights issue, etc., but I just don’t agree with that, except if you’re talking about violence or discrimination against gays, then perhaps I could get behind that. But saying that preventing anyone other than a man and a woman from getting married should be a civil rights issue, and is an act of discrimination in and of itself, I don’t agree with. Saying that you don’t think that homosexuals should be mistreated is not the same as saying you support gay marriage. Just as saying that Muslims in the military should be supported, or that what Nidal Hasan did was dispicable, is not the same as saying that it’s OK or encouraged for Muslims to serve in the military, and I don’t know of any Muslims who are actually encouraging Muslims to serve in the military. As I said in my previous post, I’d like to know who has said this and on what show so I can look it up. And as I’ve also said before, given that you have many US military installations in so-called “Muslim lands”, it doesn’t make the issue as cut-and-dry as it would seem to appear to be.

I also don’t have some kinda narrow definition of manhood or womanhood that’s based on my neighborhood, upbringing or what the latest pop or rap song tells me it should be. And then try to apply that to Islam. If some of the Mothers of the Believers (may Allah reward them all) fought in battles, and if the Prophet (peace be upon him) was reported to have helped with the household chores, then who am I to go around accusing other Muslims of not being man enough, or being too feminine. My husband does the majority of the cooking in this house, and farbeit for me or anyone else, for that matter, to question his manhood just because he cooks. I think before we talk about what being a “man” is and what being a “woman” is, we need to get to the heart of what we’re talking about. Because sometimes you have very emotional men, and sometimes you have very stoic women, that doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with them, and it most certainly doesn’t mean they’re “gay”.

And while I’m aware of Al Fatiha (the gay Muslim group) and certain “progressive” Muslims, I don’t think they represent the majority of the Muslim community, anymore than the extremists do. And while some media outlets may give them a voice that isn’t proportional to their influence in the community, it doesn’t mean that they’re taking hold or taking over or anything else. And groups like Zaytuna, etc., are not “progressive” in the sense that they want to water down Islam, they don’t condone homosexuality (though it seems many want to hold on to this falacy even though it’s been proven to be patently false), etc., and if there are any “gay Muslims” at the “white house iftar”, I’m certainly not aware of it. Perhaps groups like Zaytuna realize the world we live in, that while they don’t want to water down the religion, that perhaps talking about Jihad all of the time might not be such a good idea, given the climate that we find ourselves in and given the weak state of the Muslim Ummah in this day and age! This doesn’t mean that they’re hiding the truth or not speaking the truth, it’s just that, well, how can we fight any kind of Jihad when our own souls and communities are in such a shambles (remember we’ve got the “kuffar” in “Muslim lands” no doubt). What good is talking about “jihad” when it would make things worse for the Muslims? Perhaps that is the angle that it should be looked at, and not from the “oh those Muslims are just a bunch of feminized and/or gay Muslims who want to water down Islam to make it pallitable to George W. Bush and the Rand Corporation, etc.)

Anyway, I digress. So anyway, here is the kind of Muslim I am… I am a Muslim who strives to adhere to the Qur’an and Sunnah the best way I know how. I strive to perfect my character and purify my heart the best way I can. I do this by following Maliki fiqh, and a tariqa, though the tariqa part isn’t necessary but optional (and as far as I’m concerned the madhhab part is optional too, though based on those I’ve asked and my limited research, I have come to the understanding that it’s necessary). And just because I do the above doesn’t mean I’m somehow trying to water down or ignore the Qur’an and Sunnah, it’s just that I don’t have the knowledge to make rulings for myself so I defer to those who have that knowledge, in issues that I don’t have the answer for. And Muslims serving in the military is but one example of one of those answers that I don’t feel I can make a ruling on.

I am the kind of Muslim who thinks that celebrating non-Muslim holidays isn’t necessarily haram either, as long as said holiday doesn’t have a religious connotation to it. For example, I’m getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving on Thursday (in fact I’ve been planning the menu today, I’m having turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls and pumpkin pie). Now I understand why some would not celebrate such a day given its history, but I tend to look at it as a day to spend with friends and family, to take time to give thanks for what I have, for what Allah has given me (and I sheepishly have to admit that I also get to eat a bunch of food and watch football, too), and I can’t see how that could be wrong/a bad thing. Now of course, I’m not going to celebrate Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day, or Halloween. Again, providing perspective is key here. If you feel that you yourself shouldn’t celebrate a certain holiday, then don’t. But in areas where there may be a difference of opinion on the issue, why can’t we just live and let live, and let those who celebrate, celebrate, and those who don’t, don’t. But that’s just something that some of us Muslims can’t do. We don’t feel quite right unless we’re “haram-ing” someone, “takfir-ing” someone, “kuffar-ing” someone, or otherwise issuing cyber/insta-fatwas to one and all, with absolutely no knowledge or qualification to do so. Some of us can’t be satisfied unless we’re sticking our fingers in someone else’s plate, so to speak.

And perhaps that’s why I don’t know about supposedly all of the Muslims who’ve been going around on all of the TV/radio programs telling Muslims it’s OK to serve in the US military, or about the “gay Muslims at the white house iftar”, because I’ve just not been paying attention. I’ve kinda been busy and stressed with work, I’ve been dealing with my own issues of self-esteem, self-worth, etc., the same issues I’ve always struggled with. I’ve been completely dissatisfied with myself lately. Because I’ve completely lost the spiritual progress that I’d made during Ramadan. I’ve been struggling with a lowness in Iman lately, though Alhamdulillah it’s gotten much better. Basically, I’ve kinda been too busy to notice what other Muslims were doing, and I tried to ignore what Nidal Hasan did, because honestly, take the “Muslim” out of it and he just seems to be a man who had severe mental issues that unfortunately weren’t dealt with soon enough to prevent the injury and loss of life that ended up happening. “Islam” or “being a Muslim” doesn’t seem to have much to do with it, except that he didn’t want to go to Iraq/Afghanistan, though shouldn’t he have known all of that before he joined? Or couldn’t he have gotten out when it became clear that we’d be fighting in those places, if fighting in those places made him so distressed? Anyway, these are questions that I, personally, don’t have the answers to.

And I’m digressing again. Basically, I tend not to look at things as “black and white”, because many times, there is a lot of gray area. I mean, clearly, there are certain things that are unanimously known to be haram, so I’m not saying that there’s a gray area regarding zina or alcohol or anything like that. But once you get passed the five pillars, and the things that are by unanimous concensus of the scholars known to be halal or haram as the case may be, then you get into a lot of the gray area, that perhaps Muslims in the US military, or listening to music, or celebrating non-Muslim holidays might fall.

And I’m generally the kind of Muslim who tries to live and let live, even if there’s something that I don’t agree with. Because there could be something going on behind-the-scenes, out of my view, that I don’t know about. And I sure don’t want to pop off at the mouth about something that I thought I knew, then find out later that I had no idea what I was talking about, that there were perhaps things going on that I didn’t know about. I mean, I can’t talk about the “coffee shop Muslims in the Bay Area”, because I’ve never been to a copy shop in the Bay Area, and I’ve only been to California once. And the Muslims I saw there weren’t what you’d call “liberal” or “watered-down” Muslims, I can most definitely assure you. And as far as “white house iftars” go, I’ve never been to DC or the White House, so again, can’t speak on that either.

My experience of the Muslim community has been quite limited really, and perhaps not that representative. And I have indeed made the mistake of speaking about certain aspects of the Muslim community that I indeed had no knowledge of, and got called on it quite severely. So I truly don’t want to make that mistake again. And it’d sure be nice if others didn’t continue to make that mistake either.

Assalamu alaikum, taking a deep breath and posting this with as little comment as I can manage, because I’ve been going back and forth in my head as to whether or not I should even address this at all, because, well, it really is a waste of time, and there really isn’t anything new being said here! It’s the same disdain for certain supposedly affeminate and liberal Muslims, and of course, the this time unnamed swipe at scholars and organizations who are supposedly telling Muslims it’s OK to join the military and to “support our troops”. Perhaps the fact that I’m posting this at all says more about me than the blog post that is compelling me to comment in the first place. From Umar Lee (1, 2), as well as a response.

Though I do have a few questions. What Muslims and what Muslim organizations said that serving in the US military was permissible/encouraged? What Muslims and Muslim organizations said that we should “support the troops”. Because perhaps I’m not watching enough TV, or listening to enough radio or something, because I’ve heard no such thing. And I’m wondering if this is meant to discuss a pertinent issue to the Muslim community or just another excuse to get in a dig at certain Muslims, who we all know who and what he’s talking about, that he seems to have a problem with.

Anyway, I’ve already stated my feelings about Muslims serving in the US military, which is something that I have serious misgivings about to say the least, and is something that I’d not do myself, nor would I recommend that others do it, and if anyone told me they were thinking of joining the military, I’d discourage it, for a variety of reasons, whether or not they were Muslim. However, I don’t feel I’m qualified to go around telling Muslims that not only is it haram but that the very act of serving in the US military takes them out of the fold of Islam altogether. And I think this is a very serious statement/charge to make, although this is lost within the “scholarly opinions” that Umar Lee cites. Because you’re not only saying that Muslims in the military are committing a haram action, or an act of disbelief, but that committing said action makes them non-Muslims. And we, IMHO, really need to be careful of doing this.

And I won’t even dignify the quips about “attending the iftar at the White House with gay Muslims” or the so-called “coffee shop Muslims” in the “Bay Area”, because as I said before, we’ve been down this road before, and I don’t think these posts were just supposed to be about “Muslims serving in the military”. It’s once again a fellow Muslim’s displaying of their own issues with “manliness” and “femininity”, and supposedly liberal, gay, or affeminate Muslims. It’s once again about a kindergartener trying to tell the teacher how they should teach class, and that they’re doing it wrong, nothing more nothing less. It’s the same song, just a slightly different variation.

So why am I even blogging about this then? I really need to figure out how to remove feeds from my feed reader I guess, because that is how I even came across these posts in the first place. It was the title of “educating Muslims” etc., that got my attention. And then before I realized what I was reading, it was too late. And perhaps this says more about me than it does about Br. Umar. I should be able to walk away from this, I know. I know I shouldn’t even be wasting my time writing this post, except that I did want to blog about “Muslims in the military”, then when I started writing, I realized that I had nothing really to add to the discussion, so I stopped and decided to drop that subject. Because, as I said before, it’s an issue that in today’s time and place is very nuanced, considering the state of the Muslims today. I mean, Saudi Arabia (the country from which the scholars that Umar Lee quotes from hail) allowed US military bases to be set up in their own country! Which allowed them to go into Kuwait and drive out the Iraqi Army during the first Gulf War. And I’m not sure if those same bases were used for the second Iraq war or not, but my point is, what do said scholars have to say about that? And the great and wonderful government of Saudi Arabia is allowing luxury hotels to be built in Mecca, and is there not a McDonald’s in Mecca too? The newer buildings are even overlooking the Masjid Al-Haraam for goodness sake! And yet they destroy in the process historic Islamic sites on the pretext of “keeping Muslims from worshipping graves”, etc. I don’t even want to get started on all of that! But I sense a bit of hypocrisy too. Because you’ve got a so-called Muslim country, the “care takers of the two holy mosques” no less, allowing Islamic sites to be destroyed, and allowing the “kuffar army” into their land! So what about that? How are these scholars that Umar quotes from any less, hmmm, I don’t know, hypocritical or “deviant” than the scholars and groups here in the US that many seem to feel are “going against the real Islam” or whatever you want to call it and allegedly saying its OK for Muslims to join the military, which is something that I’ve not myself heard any of them say.

Because one individual Muslim, joining the US military, isn’t allowing skyscrapers to be built where, hmmm, the house of one of the Prophet’s (peace be upon him) companions once stood. And they’re not destroying other historic sites so that a luxury hotel could be built so that the wealthy coming for Hajj don’t actually have to “mingle with the masses”, so to speak, and endure any hardship on what is supposed to be the “journey of a lifetime”. Heck, I just read a story a while back about some new hotel they’re proposing to build. A super hotel with a spa, butlers, etc. And they’re not allowing “kuffar armies” into Saudi Arabia to use it as a base to attack other Muslim countries.

All I’m saying is if you want to call scholars out, and Muslims, in general out, for their unwillingness to “speak the truth” or “follow the Qur’an and Sunnah”, and vor encouraging Muslims to join the military, let’s be fair, at the very least, and not just call out scholars and organizations that you don’t happen to like, all in the guise of talking about “the permissibility of Muslims serving in the US military”.

And yes I know, I did what I said I wasn’t going to do and commented on something that clearly isn’t worth my time! And I’m upset with myself about it! I mean, I wasted part of my weekend writing this post! But as I said, I couldn’t help myself. Perhaps I like drama and debate more than I feel comfortable admitting to myself or anyone else, for that matter. I’ve always said that I have an argumentative side, and it’s really something that I try to work on, though I fear that it’s won out this time unfortunately. But certain things bother me! And hypocrisy and saying stuff about people that you’d not have the gutts to say to their faces, while you walk around questioning others manhood, manliness and Muslimness are but a few things that’ll bring that side of me out in a heartbeat, which is why I even linked to his posts (though I considered not doing so, but he has a right to know when he’s being criticized)! That and a complete lack of the ability to see any nuance/gray area in a situation, an disdain for education, knowledge, intellectualism, or disdain for those who are educated, have knowledge, or value said education and intellectualism.

The thing is, there is 1400 years of Islamic history, 1400 years of Islamic scholarship, eminating from West Africa to China, and you can’t just narrow it down to a few scholars from one particular country. Sorry. Islam itself, and Islamic scholarship, in general, is just too vast for that, to just quote a couple of opinions, from a couple of scholars who are speaking from their own knowledge and methodology, and then use that as just another way an another reason to lambast certain Muslims that you don’t seem to agree with!

Assalamu alaikum, OK “beating a dead horse warning” is now in effect for the remainder of this post!

But you know how sometimes lightbulbs kinda go off in your head? Well, I think that just happened to me. See, I was reading IslamicMoon.com’s “Eid Report”, which pretty much says the same thing they’ve always been saying, which is OK, and the thing is… They’re just as confusing to me as the people they’re rebutting! I mean, the report isn’t well written, or perhaps I should say, I can hardly understand it! And we wonder why we just “follow the leaders”, so to speak, because it’s ever so much easier.

I understand what they’re trying to say, I really do. However, there, hmmm, not sure how to explain it, “arrogance” perhaps, or they and other sites’ “condescending way” of presenting things, though these don’t seem to be the wrong words that seem to fit the description of what I’m trying to say, but it’s the best I can come up with now, that I don’t like!

The thing is, a lot of the scholars have come up with rulings in order to make things easier, to facilitate things for us, or to make use of new technologies that we now have access to. I, as a layperson, can’t say whether it’s permissible or not. But I can’t say that those who followed Country A are wrong while those who followed Country B are right. As I mentioned previously, we all have to do what we feel comfortable with, and I can’t believe that *every* Muslim scholar or astronomer that has weighed into this debate has intentionally mislead the Muslims. I just can’t do it.

For me, it’s a simple matter, just go out and sight the moon, every month, and if you don’t want to make it a strictly local sighting, perhaps make it time zone or region specific or something, but it’s a fairly simple proposition! Just go out and sight the moon every month! Perhaps if more of us did this, or appointed a group of people to do this for us, then we’d not have all of the problems we’re having. Which brings me to another point, one thing I’ve seen in IslamicMoon.com’s “special reports” is a criticism of the ulama in the UK’s decision to follow a “sighting from the East”, etc. And really, I don’t see anything wrong with this decision, as in many places in the UK, seeing the moon is difficult due to it being cloudy a lot of the time, or so I’ve read. And yes, the Prophet (PBUH) or Muslims in general, may not have done this before, however, perhaps they did not face the kinds of conditions that they face in the UK, which would cause the majority of Islamic months to go 30 days, and this, for some reason that I don’t quite know, can cause some kinda problem with the Hijri calendar as a whole or something. It kinda reminds me of the rulings made for Muslims living in places like Alaska or in the Arctic where the sun may not rise or set for long periods of time. So obviously, for prayer times and for fasting and breaking the fast, other rulings have to be employed other than what the Prophet did, being that he, as far as we know, was never faced with anything like having months of total darkness or months where the sun doesn’t set.

I’m not saying that I feel entirely comfortable with using a strictly calculated calendar to determine the start and end of Islamic months, but I feel my position softening a bit, I don’t feel so “hardline” about it, nor the need to get into contentious debates about it, nor do I feel the confusion that I so often do regarding this issue. Now if anyone were to ask me, and they’ve not as of yet, I’d say that we should go with a local sighting, or at least a regional one within a certain, pre-determined, geographical area. But no one’s asked me, my local masjid has their own criteria, which I’m not entirely sure of, but it seems to correspond with what Saudi does, and it doesn’t appear that they’ll be changing that any time soon.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve been able to follow sightings in the Caribbean which happens to coincide with my local community, which takes away my uneasiness at having to “go it alone”. Perhaps it’s because Saudi, from what I understand, is going strictly on calculations now, for the Ramadan, as well as the Hajj and the two Eids (I think I might have linked to that article before, see previous moon sightings posts), and of course, for the rest of the Islamic year, they use a pre-calculated calendar. So perhaps their slight change in determining the start of Islamic months is doing away with the truly odd start and end dates they’ve had in the past.

Because I think that’s what bothered me before, as it was never a global vs local thing for me it was a “but the moon wasn’t even born yet” kinda thing, which really got me started on this obsession of mine, that and trying to figure out why 2 or 3 or more sites differed on when they were telling/asking the Muslims to go out and look for the moon. Perhaps making a point to post moon sightings every month has also helped in settling this issue for me, and not making it such a source of confusion and doubt for me.

This is the beginning of a probable series on posts written to and about my family, just to let them know that I’ve not forgotten then *smile*, that I’m thinking about them.

Hello, all, was thinking about writing this post last night, almost couldn’t sleep for trying to construct the post in my head. But I was already tired from Chloe waking me up so early yesterday morning, and I’d already written so much yesterday. I seem to have a burst of creativity going on Mashallah. So anyway…

I love my brother, I’ll just start by saying that. I love my family, in general, and I don’t see many of them nor talk to them nearly as often as I should or would like to. But… I was thinking about my brother and I last night, how close we used to be.

My brother is almost exactly 4 years and one month younger than me. I was born in May of 1975 and he was born in June of 1979. And he really was a good brother, and he had a lot asked of him from a young age, because of his blind older sister. If we were playing outside, he had to make sure to guide me if I needed help, if we were walking somewhere where I didn’t know my way, he had to take me. When my mom taught me how to type, he had to read from the typing book when she couldn’t. I have jokingly said in the past that we both had to look out for each other, I, as the older sister, had to keep him out of trouble, and he, as the sighted younger brother, had to keep me from running into things, or falling into things, etc.

And I don’t think he realizes how much he has meant to me, and how much I miss him now that I live in Florida and hardly see him. I miss discussing music, or politics, or technology with him. I sure wish he was around to fix my electronic gizmos and gadgets when they break, because, well, let’s just say, my husband is kinda technologically illiterate unfortunately.

My brother has made me laugh, and he always showed me how much he cared in that brotherly way of his, usually by pestering the heck out of me! But the thing is, we’re not as close as we once were, probably because of distance, probably because of just normal everyday life getting in the way, probably because of little sibling spats every now and then.

But I just wanted him to know how much I always appreciated him, how much I love him, what a good brother he’s been, even though he did punch me in the nose when I was 7, and I got the worst nosebleed of my life, but that’s another story, and I actually laugh about it now, though I didn’t then of course.

I remember when we were kids, we rode bigwheels together, swam together, went to King’s Island, and Old Indiana together, rode our tandem bike pretty much till the thing fell apart. And we used to have some mean, knock down drag out Scrabble games, though we really had a lot of fun. When our kitchen caught on fire once, before he did anything else, he threw my coat at me and made sure I got out of the house, and he stayed inside to call for help. He was always there to talk to, play with, pester, tease, lol, he’s my brother lol. He was there to give me a ride, take Abby to the vet, help me give Abby any medicine she needed (and believe me it normally took two of us to do it). I could pretty much always count on him for anything I needed.

Anyway, I just wanted to write this, just to let him know that I love him, and was thinking about him, and I miss him a lot.

I love you Que, you’re a great and wonderful brother! I miss you and wish I could come home and visit more often. You really are a great brother and I don’t think you’ve ever been thanked or apreciated enough for being the kind of brother you’ve been to me! And give my nephew Gage a big hug and a kiss from Aunt Ginny!

Assalamu alaikum all,

From MoonSighting.com’s Dhul Hijja page:

The Astronomical New Moon is on November 16, 2009 (Monday) at 19:14 UT. This moon cannot be seen anywhere in the world. On November 17, it still cannot be seen in Asia, Europe and Canada. It can be seen in South Africa, Central America, and South America. In USA, there is a small chance to see it on November 17.

Fiqh Council of North America Announces EID UL-ADHA

According to astronomical calculations, the month of Zul Hijjah will begin on November 18 and thus the expected date of Eid ul Adha is Friday, November 27. The final decision will be posted after receiving the announcement of ‘Arafah date by the Hajj authorities in Saudi Arabia.

As always, they have the reports of moonsighting posted there as well. Although it doesn’t seem like any reports of sighting have come in.

From IslamicMoon.com:

CFCO prediction of D. Hijja Hilal

D. Hijja Hilal will be seen in most of the world on Nov. 18, making Thursday, Nov. 19, 2009 the first day of D. Hijja for most of the Muslims.

The New Moon (Nov. 16: 19:15 UT) will not be visible on Nov. 16 anywhere in the world. On Nov. 17, the best chances are in S. Africa (Durban), Brazil (Rio) Argentina (Buenos Aires), Chile (Punta Arenas), Panama (Santiago), etc. In the US and Canada the only place where it may be seen is Hawaii.

In northern hemisphere, the Moon’s altitude is too low for the Hilal to be seen (though the moon’s age is 20-30+ hours and its angle10-16+ degrees.

It seems that these two sites have slightly differing predictions for determining chances of sighting. However, Allah knows best. We’ll see what happens, and I’ll keep this page updated.

Update 1: Per MoonSighting.com’s Dhul Hijja page linked above:

OFFICIAL Day of Eid-al-Adha in Different Countries
Friday, 27 November 2009:

Bahrain (Following Saudi)
Egypt (Following Saudi)
Iraq (Following Saudi)
Jordan (Following Saudi)
Kenya (Following Saudi)
Kuwait (Following Saudi)
Lebanon (Following Saudi)
Palestine (Following Saudi)
Philippines (Following Saudi)
Qatar (Following Saudi)
Saudi Arabia (Official announcement)
South Africa (Actual sighting)
Sudan (Following Saudi)
Spain (Following Saudi)
Syria (Following Saudi)
Trinidad & Tobago (Following Saudi)
UAE (Following Saudi)
UK (Sighting of South Africa)
USA (ISNA – Following Saudi)
Yemen (Following Saudi)
Saturday, 28 November 2009:

There is no official first day listed for Saturday yet. For those in the US who are following ISNA/Saudi, Eidul Adha will be on Friday 11/27/2009. I am awaiting sighting reports from the US, etc., for local sightings here, I’ve only seen one negative sighting report come in so far, from Virginia. Haven’t heard anything from the Caribbean/Central America, except for Trinidad and Tobago who are following Saudi. I believe my local community will due Eid on Friday, as they usually follow Saudi it seems.

More updates coming soon Inshallah.

Update 2: The Hilal Committee of Greater Toronto at http://www.hilalcommitee.com has declared Eid to be on 11/27/2009 based on moon sightings in Trinidad and Guyana. Though I’ve not seen these reports posted anywhere else as of yet. I’m monitoring moonsighting.com as they seem to be the largest and most exhaustive repository of moon sighting reports.

Am also monitoring, as always, crescentwatch.org and hilalsighting.org, though per the astronomical forecast, the chances of seeing a hilal within the contiguous US tonight seen to be slim at best. I notice that moonsighting.com, in announcing the “official” first day in different countries, says that for the US, the “official” first day is based on ISNA/Saudi, not even mentioning sites such as crescentwatch.org, etc. I’d be interested to know how many communities/masajids go with a strictly US/Canada sighting, and who go for a “global” or “includes the Caribbean” sighting?

Because it seems like sightes such as hilalsighting.org and crescentwatch.org are in the minority, and I’m wondering if they’ve made any headway in convincing communities / leaders to adopt their position of going out to sight the moon every month and adopting a local sighting, even in Dhul Hijja. Given a discussion that I once became unfortunately very involved in (and I really shouldn’t have), and which became absolutely extremely heated, convincing communities to celebrate Eid on a different day than in Saudi Arabia is an uphill battle, to say the very least! I’ve even found that mentioning the Sunnah of moon sighting is so shrugged off, brushed off, treated as unimportant. And this bothers me, especially when we can figuratively ram other Sunnahs down peoples throats, but we can’t go out and do a confirmed Sunnah of sighting the moon? The reaction I’ve gotten is “well I’ll leave it up to the leaders”, etc. And I think this bothers me, because if you have vision you should use it, and if you are blessed to be able to behold the signs and wonders of Allah (Subhana wa ta’ala) then you should take advantage of that blessing and not squander it. I guess it would be one thing if people still went out to sight the moon, yet still followed a global sighting, I mean, there is a valid position for that, though I wonder how “one sighting for all of the Muslims” could practically be followed before the advent of instant communication, before phones, computers, radio, etc., to get the message out from halfway around the world that the moon had been seen. Though the justification for following Saudi’s announcement for Eidul Adha is to follow the Hajjis, though this doesn’t really make sense either, unless you’re in the same time zone as them, or maybe an hour or two behind or ahead, because when we have our Eid prayer here in the morning, it’s like 8 or 9 hours ahead there, it’d be in the late afternoon. But anyway, I’m digressing again. Sorry, I just can’t help it. The whole moon sighting issue has never made sense to me, except to follow a local sighting, why would you not do this? I mean, we do it for prayer, don’t we? Why not for the moon? Yes, I understand the various fiqh positions on this issue, I’m just saying, it just makes sense to me, for say, the masajid in the state of Florida, or within a certain time zone, etc., to all go out and sight the moon at the same time, and report the results. That way, you don’t have to wait until 11 or so at night! Let’s say everyone from the East Coast to where the Central time zone goes into affect sights together, or, well, perhaps it would be easier to put Eastern and Central together, and Mountain and Pacific, and that way, people won’t have to wait so late into the night. Although I know why it’s also easier to put all of America together. I’d just like to know if before the advent of modern technology, etc., if there’s precedent or if traditional Islamic fiqh supports the tying of the Eidul Adha holiday to the Hajj. If not, then how did this become such a phenomenon, to the point that you’re almost treated as strange, unorthodox or “hurting the unity of the Muslims” for celebrating the Eid based on local sighting? Before the advent of modern technology, was it common for people to sit and wait to see what other towns/cities/communities were going to do for their Eid based on “global sighting” or did they also go out and sight the moon themselves? I’m just asking, because this has never truly been resolved for me, and it just doesn’t make any sense, but maybe that’s me. But Really, I can honestly understand the desire to follow what Saudi is doing, because of the importance of the Hajj and all of that, but as I’m thinking about it, and this is why I edited this part of the post, I’m not sure that there’s anything going on on the tenth of Dhul Hijja except for the offering of the sacrifice I think, although people do like to be united on the day of Arafa, fasting on that day if not on Hajj, etc., and this is a glaring reason why I need to do more research on the Hajj and Eidul Adha, because this is one topic that I’m sorely unknowledgeable on. I do understand though, that people want to feel a since of unity, especially with Mecca and Medina. But anyway, I feel myself getting into soapbox territory again, and that’s really not the intention of this post.

Anyway, more updates coming soon, Inshallah.

Update 3: hilalsighting.org is now reporting that, per sighting within the USA and Canada, there was no confirmed, naked eye sighting of the crescent moon this evening, thus Dhul Qa’dah will go 30 days, Dhul Hijja will start Thursday November 19th, and Eid for those following this sighting will be 11/28/2009. I’m still wondering, what about Mexico? Why include Canada and not Mexico? Just wondering…

Update 4: ChicagoHilal.com is also going with the start of Dhul Hijja being 11/18/2009, making Eidul Adha 11/27/2009, based on “multiple authentic sightings”, quoting directly from their site. This will probably be my final update this evening, Inshallah.

Update 5: CrescentWatch.org has also stated that there were no confirmed naked eye sightings of the hilal in North America, thus letting Dhul Qa’dah run 30 days, and Dhul Hijja starting 11/19/2009, and Eidul Adha being on 11/28/2009. Moonsighting.com has a few more moon sighting reports, though none from the Caribbean except as noted above except for a nonsighting report from Barbados. There was one from Montreal, Canada which is following South Africa and Chile, and a nonsighting from Panama, but I’d like to see the positive sighting reports previously referred to from Guyana and Trinidad. And moonsighting.com has not put up any countries as having their Eid on 11/28/2009, but I’m thinking this is due to the sight just not beeing updated yet.

OK, so I’m tired. But that’s probably because Chloe decided to wake me up at like 4:40 in the morning! I don’t think she’s realized that Daylight Saving Time ended like uh, two weeks ago!

But usually when she gets up in the morning, she has this thing where she’ll get up, shake off, and then, (I’m hoping) lay back down and go back to sleep. But sometimes she doesn’t. She’ll get up, shake off, pace around a bit, start whining, then I feel her paws up on the bed, and then I know I have to do something, before she wakes my husband up. Sometimes I can get away with giving the “Chloe down” command, which just maybe might give me an extra half hour to 45 minutes or so of sleep, but eventually she’ll put her paws back on the bed, or maybe she’ll just sit there for a couple minutes, and then start whining again, which means that she’s let me sleep as long as she’s going to let me sleep so I’ve got to get up and take her out.

I remember I read an article/quote from Shaykh Hamza which said something to the affect of “if the first thing you do in the morning is reach for your cell phone/get on the computer, then you’ve got a problem” or something to that affect. Well, for some reason, as I’m typing this, I’m trying to repress a desire to begin laughing hysterically, because I am tempted to say something like, “well Shaykh Hamza, what if it’s your Leader Dog waking you up in the morning?” “Do you have a problem then?” Because 9 times out of 10, no 9.99 times out of ten, the first thing I do, is get up and take the dog out, if she really, really has to go, and I’m afraid that she won’t make it by the time I perform ablusion and pray, and then take her out after that. But usually, the first thing I do in the morning, is try to negotiate with my dog to please just let me sleep in a little longer! But for some reason, recalling Shaykh Hamza’s quote just seemed really funny to me, because a vision flashed in my head of somehow asking him that question in person complete with the ever-exuberant and ever-eager Chloe at my side, tail vigorously wagging and me in fear that she’d jump on him full throttle and lick him dead in the face! Ahhh, what a good representation of a Leader Dog and a dog guide in general! Oh, I’d be so mortified, so embarrassed! If that ever happened! I’m telling you, if I ever were to take Chloe with me to an Islamic event, where any scholar of any renown were to be in attendance, I’d give her a good lecture, and you think I’m kidding. I used to do it to Abby all of the time! Anywhere where we were going, if she had to be on her best behavior, and I was afraid that she’d misbehave, I gave her “the talk”. And it seemed to work! But if Muslim dog guide users are going to be able to make any headway and gain acceptance within the wider Muslim community, we have to have well-behaved guides, and guides that won’t, well, I don’t know, jump on people and lick them in the face. Or bark! Or have an accident. And we’ll make dua that they won’t throw up. And as it’s always been for anyone or anything blazing new trails, these dogs have to be better than the best! Twice as good as the rest, and all of that. So Chloe, if we ever find ourselves about to go to a Deen Intensive or something, you’d better be at your best! No trying to get people to play with you, no throwing your toys at people, hoping they’ll throw them back. No banging your tail against walls, chairs, other people! No rolling over onto your back hoping someone will rub your belly! Nope, none of that! At least until you prove your worth, lol, and people see that you are a hard worker and all of that, but please, whatever you do! Don’t lick people! On the hand, arm, leg, face, nowhere! I mean, not everyone is a Maliki ya know!? And even if they are, they may not like doggy saliva on them! And I know sometimes you can’t resist this! Someone reaches out to pet you or just to hand something to me, and there’s your head there, tongue out and “shhhhck!” Lick! Now, it’s cute to me, but not to everyone else! Seriously, though, I really mean this all in fun.

So anyway… So where was I? Oh yeah… So Chloe decided that she wanted to wake me up at 4:40, although I got her to let me sleep in until like 5:15, at which point I still had a bit of time before Fajr, so I went ahead and got up, took her out, then brought her in, gave her her breakfast, made Wudu, prayed, and then couldn’t go back to sleep. So now I’m tired. And I think I’m just about to take Chloe out for the final time this evening, and then get to bed, and hope she won’t wake me up so darn early in the morning! Her normal time is usually around 6 or 6:30 or so. Although Alhamdulillah, because if it wasn’t for her, I’d probably be having a harder time getting up for Fajr than I already am. Perhaps that’s one of many reasons why Allah blessed me with her. Because Abby, my first Leader Dog, well, the later I took her out in the evening, the later she’d let me sleep in the morning, which was great for college, but perhaps not so much later in life lol.

Chloe is a very time and schedule-oriented dog, she still thinks five in the evening is 6 and will start barking or whining to go out before I’m even finished with work. And getting her acclamated is just going to take longer than I thought. But really, she’s a wonderful dog, a hard worker with a wonderful personality! And her tail wagging, and thumping on everything, the door, wall, floor, couch, etc., the way she tries to get people to play with her, the way she’s glad to see and meet everyone, her eagerness to go and do whatever, it’s just precious!

And the way she vocalizes, her yawns, barks, growls, huffs, sneezes, sighes, it’s like she has her own language, her own way of communicating, Abby did too. And do you know she dreams! She barks, growls, runs, and it sounds like she’s trying to eat or drink too. All in her sleep. The first time she did that with my husband around, he thought something was wrong with her, he didn’t know quite what to think of it.

The thing is, I got so attached and bonded with Abby, and was so upset when she died, I still miss her actually, and I wasn’t sure if I could get so attached and bonded to another dog like that again. Well, here I am. As attached and bonded as I can possibly be!

And I’ll tell you, Reason 5,472 for getting a dog! For me anyway… Last week, I went outside with Chloe, it was really windy out, to the point that I had trouble hearing things. I’d just told Chloe that I really needed her to be at her best because I wasn’t hearing things very well. And I told her “Right, find the curb”, to which she did and stopped. I put my foot forward to find the edge of the curb, and proceeded to give her the “Forward” command. At that very moment, I felt her plant her feet, and tense up her body, in a way that I don’t think I’d ever felt her do before! It was like she was saying “I don’t care what this woman does, I ain’t movin’! And she ain’t movin’ either if I have anything to say about it!” It was at that moment that I heard the car coming, and it was one of those newer, quieter cars, that I couldn’t hear until it was right up on us. I said an Alhamdulillah to myself and a soft “Good girl” to Chloe, and waited for that car to go, as well as another car which was coming from the opposite direction. And once they were gone, I once again gave the “Forward” command, at which point Chloe and I stepped off the curb to cross the street!

Mashallah and good girl Chloe! Perhaps you deserve a few licks and tail wags and a few boisterous moments every now and then after all!

And now I’m off to give Chloe a big hug and to take her out! Good night all!

The general view here is that the extremists, apparently now signed-up members of the al-Qaeda franchise, are a minor, containable threat
However, the tweet I got which linked to this article was entitled “Timbuktu Terror”. Huh!? Sounds a lot worse than it really is, it seems.

via BBC NEWS | Programmes | From Our Own Correspondent | New realities for ancient Timbuktu.

Wow, just wow! I remember when this all started to come out, well I vaguely remember a tweet from someone, who I think is Christian, something along the lines of “May God protect this girl from her family” or something like that, and there was a link to the story of “the girl who’s family threatened to kill her for leaving Islam”.

I remember my heart sank, and I wanted to say something, about the whole apostasy thing and whether or not it applies in today’s time, but I kept silent, because for one thing, I didn’t have enough facts to craft any kind of a response, and for another, I didn’t know what kind of a person I was dealing with, religiously speaking. I just didn’t feel like getting into another one of those debates where people try to tell me what my own religion teaches me. Anyway, turns out that this story seems to be more complex than we could have ever imagined. I highly recommend it and kudos to Brass Crescent for posting it and whoever it was for recommending it.

Rifqa Bary and the Xenos Cult.

Assalamu alaikum, you know, any time I write a post, or series of posts, that may come across as negative or controversial, I feel the need to say something like “I’m not like this all of the time”, or I’m normally not this negative”, or “I’m normally a pretty happy and positive person”. Or something like that. Or, I feel the need to follow up a “negative” post with a “positive” one, ya know, to kinda balance things out.

And the thing is, I’ve kinda been thinking about what kind of image I want to project to the world, and what kind of image I might be actually projecting. Hopefully, the image I project is someone who’s fun-loving, who’s interested in many diverse topics, but who also will speak out forcefully when necessary. The thing is, I’m afraid I’m projecting the image of a moody, negative, imbalanced person, and that kinda bothers me. Because I’m really not like that in real life.

See, a lot of my blog is just musings, whatever happens to be on my mind at the time. And a lot of the time, what’s on my mind is some pretty negative stuff, or something I’m admittedly obsessing over, or something I can’t get closure on, etc. And I think that kinda skews the image people have of me. And that’s kinda why I’ve played around with audioblogging. Because perhaps if I recorded and published seemingly mundane things like me taking Chloe out to park, Or me sitting outside, or just me talking, then perhaps that would give a more realistic and well-rounded picture of myself. That I’m not always brooding, upset, negative, angry, or whatever.

And I was especially thinking of this when I was reading the Brass Crescent nominations (thanks Sabiwabi for nominating me). Though I think my blog is a little too scattered, disjointed, all over the place, to have a chance of winning anything. I’m just happy to be nominated, as I’ve never been nominated before to my knowledge, so just to know that I was nominated kinda made me feel like I’d won already *smile*, I actually can’t wait to tell my husband about it when he gets home lol, though I hope that’s not being too arrogant or brash. Maybe it’ll get him to actually read it once in a while *smile*. Or to get him to sit down so I can record him telling his stories that he always tells me about growing up in The Gambia, because he has a way of telling them that is absolutely hilarious (to me anyway). But he thinks his voice sounds strange, and he thinks no one would want to hear them. Perhaps, I tell him, we could do a test run, you could tell a story, I could post it, and we’ll see what happens, depending on feedback from my blog. But the fact that I might be getting some new readers is really cool and exciting, yet kinda scary at the same time, because while I enjoy writing and getting things off my chest, I also don’t want an inaccurate image to be projected of me either.

All right guys, have to lighten the mood up around here and restore a semblance of balance.

So the Indianapolis Colts beat the New England Patriots at the last minute 35 to 34. And now have a 10 and 0 season so far. Now I didn’t watch the game last night, but if I understand it correctly from the news reports I read, The Patriots had the ball and it was 4th down and short?, well, whatever the case, the only had like a yard to go to get the first down. Now, at this point they were ahead, and it seemed like they shoulda just went for the field goal to seal the deal and get the win. But no, they took a risk and went for the first down, that, well, they didn’t get, which gave the ball back to the Colts, and they had a quick score/touchdown, which put them over the Patriots 35 to 34.

And it was funny because when they asked the former Colts coach (who’s now an NBC analyst) Tony Dungy what he thought, he was like “I don’t even know why they did that, they shoulda just went for the field goal, what was Bill Bellicheck thinking?!” And why wouldn’t you have just gone for the filed goal?

Can anyone who saw the game or the footage from it help me out here!? And it’s not like I care, ’cause their gamble, er stupidity? gave the Colts the win, so it’s not like I’m upset about it, though, the same probably can’t be said for the New England fans. Wow!

OK, so a few more things. I’ll ask the question that I either asked here on this blog or I think on another blog where I left a comment, and that is: How do we, or what is the “proper” way for Muslims to deal with abuse in our communities? Should we deal differently with the alleged abuser if they’re a shaykh, scholar, wali of Allah, etc., than if it’s just “normal average everyday Muslim” doing the abusing? Or, what should we do if someone in the community, be they leader, shaykh, scholar, wali of Allah, etc., enables the abuse by either trying to justify it Islamicly or sending the abused right back into the abusive situation?

Because in my experience in dealing with my own abusive situation, going and talking to the abuser directly isn’t going to help, they’ll either say it didn’t happen or try to minimize the abuse. And of course, the so-called “leader” who I’d initially gone to for support and help strongly encouraged me to go back. Or denied it even happen, or accused me of lying, depending on what event I’m talking about.

And the thing is “proving” these kinds of allegations is extremely difficult, unless of course, you have physical evidence, or people can testify to said evidence, or there were witnesses in case of verbal abuse. However, some abusers are very clever, and know how to keep things behind closed doors, to the point that it becomes your word against theirs.

So in the case of the Muslim community, what does an abused Muslim do then? And I most certainly don’t want to slander any scholars, or shaykhs, or imams, or walis of Allah. But I also don’t want to accuse people of lying who might not be. And even if someone started a blog tomorrow, complete with their name, and dates and times and places and photos, I wonder if some of us will still say they were lying and this is “slander” against the person said allegations are against. I can just hear it now “oh they probably photo shopped those bruises on her”, etc. They did it when the photos of Rihanna’s beating at the hands of Chris Brown was leaked out.

So as much as I’m tempted to say that “someone” should come out and say “something”, would that even help? Would that put any doubts to rest or just cause further schisms within the community? And what if “Western scholars spoke out” the way that some of us have said they should? Would that also get the result that we’d hoped for? Or again, would that just cause more problems? Again, I can hear it now “scholar so-and-so slandered a wali of Allah, may Allah curse them”, or something like that.

And this isn’t just limited to the Muslims or to a particular Muslim community, I keep thinking of the story about the boy in Senegal who was beaten by his Qur’anic teacher so badly that he had to be hospitalized. And the father, Subhanallah, didn’t just do the usual “oh he probably deserved it” stuff, he took the person who’d beaten his son to court! And said he’d do it again! Even though he was ostracized by his local community, by his family members, I think some people even made death threats against him (the old standby for many Muslims it seems), and even some people in his own family and community said “oh the boy probably did something to deserve the beating he got”. But the father said no, that nothing that little boy could have done would have ever deserved being beaten so bad he had to be hospitalized! Yet this man was accused of “slandering a scholar”, “slandering a holy man”, etc. And you know what happened, people began to talk, to say that they too had been beaten, although some didn’t recognize it as abuse, some said they deserved it, etc. And it’s good that there was a discussion on the issue, but what bothered me was that people put these Qura’nic teachers, and other religiious leaders, on such a high pedestal that they’d allow and justify the beating, sometimes brutally, of their own children! All because “this man is a shaykh”, or “this man is a scholar” or “this man is a holy man”.

And that’s just something I can’t condone, I can’t get behind, I can’t support! Someone may indeed be a very pious and holy person, but what happens if they do some very impious and unholy things? Or they know of people under their direction or leadership who are doing some very unholy and awful things?

And I think that’s where I’m at now! What is the “proper” way to handle abuse in our community? Which avoids slander, backbiting, and all of the other haram things? And that doesn’t at the same time accuse people of being liars, accuse good people of abuse they didn’t commit. And doesn’t try to minimize, cover up, sweep under the rug, etc. any real abuse in the name of “not making the Muslims look bad” or “protecting our shaykh” or anything like that.

Because again, thinking of my own experiences, when I wasn’t a Muslim, the reaction to me was much the same, I was accused of lying, saying I didn’t remember correctly, or my abuse was minimized to an “oh you were just in trouble and didn’t like your punishment or talking to”. and “oh this lady’s such a good houseparent, she’d never do anything like that” or “she’s been working here for x amount of years and we’ve never heard of such things until you came along”. Which of course then implies that you’re lying or making it up.

I think that having to admit to abuse by people we hold in high esteem or care for or have a vested interest in is a really uncomfortable thing. And especially so when you have Muslim concepts of slander, ghiba, and the punishments for those things constantly brought up. So how does the community deal with things like this in the best way? That is where I’m at now.

And for myself. I’m trying to find a way to put closure to my own bad experiences. I’ve not quite figured out how to do that yet. Maybe just by putting it out there that will help get it out of my system. I don’t know. As I said, I’ve not figirued it out yet.

And I most certainly don’t want to slander anyone, but I wonder sometimes if the accusations of slander, etc., aren’t in and of themselves thrown around as a means of silencing people. Because as I mentioned before, hearing that someone you look up to or hold in high regard has either been abusive or has allowed abuse to occur under their watch is quite unsettling, to say the least. It’s much easier to cover your ears, accuse the one making the accusations of slander, ghiba, speaking against a wali of Allah, etc., and go on about your business. And oh yeah, tell the Muslims speaking out that they’re too “Westernized” in how they handle/deal with things.

Which again brings me back to where I started. what is the correct way of dealing with things in our communities? And while I’m waiting on an answer, I’ll entertain myself by listening to the crickets chirping, because I have a feeling that I’ll be listening for quite a while. Unless of course, I get the sorts of answers that I think I’ll get. But Inshallah, we’ll see.

But seriously though, I don’t mean to dwell on this, I don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but the issues of abuse and domestic violence are extremely important to me! and I’ve not been altogether satisfied, for the most part, with how our community handles things like this.