Assalamu alaikum, dovetailing off of my recent post regarding music, I received a comment on my facebook status (as my blog post happened to be that facebook status), although it seems that the comment has been deleted, and in it’s place is the abbreviation? “nvm”? I’m not sure what that means, however, I do feel that the initial comment deserves some response, if only for the fact that perhaps some of my points weren’t hashed out properly, or else stayed in my brain and didn’t make it onto the post. And in case I come across as being angry, offended, etc., I tend to write pretty forcefully, and sometimes speak that way too, so I wanted to say that I’m not angry, or anything like that. In fact, when I read this comment, I felt sad that I’d offended someone or hurt their feelings, so thus my decision to try to clarify some of the points in my initial article. I see this as a healthy discussion, and not a debate, not an attempt to prove I’m right, just a discussion. So here goes.
“I don’t understand the reference to this specific tariqah. I find that is irrelevant because those that have taken turuq have done so with the purpose to seek higher.
I made reference to this specific tariqa because its position on music has been well known. In fact, when I mentioned on an email list that I was struggling with the whole music thing, I was referred to Shaykh Nuh’s articles on the matter. Although he is by no means the only scholar who has written extensively on this subject. I very vividly remember being a new Muslim, going to www.Islamqa.com (at the time I had no idea of the whole traditional vs salafi thing), and seeing a title of a question something along the lines of “music and singing are haram”. I’d not been Muslim long, I had just gotten the prayer down, had memorized enough Qur’an to actually do my prayers, was actually starting not to feel like a bumbling fool, and when I came across that article, and when I was referred to Shaykh Nuh’s article regarding music and told “read that and you’ll understand”, the implication being if I would just read this article, all things would be clear to me and I’d be able to give up music cold turkey, instead I felt like anything else I did was for nought, because I listened to awful haram music, so I was going to Hell for it. No matter that I keep up my prayers, that I fast during Ramadan, nope, if you listen to music, or even worse, sing, then you’re going to hell, you’re a bad Muslim, and all of that. When all I really wanted was to know that, if music is indeed haram, to know that maybe I wasn’t the only one struggling with this. I didn’t want another fatwa trotted out so that said person could feel superior to “bad Muslim me”, because I listen to kora music from Mali on the way home from work. *That* was my point, the source of the “music is haram” really makes no difference, it’s just that Shaykh Nuh happens to be someone who holds this opinion, so I referred to him.
THe issue of music is one debated amongst the ‘ulema – it could very possibly be haram Ginny. Some people choose to take the opinion that it is haram because they find the proofs stronger and others because they want to avoid the doubtful.
And those are all laudable things. And this is why in parentheses when I was talking about music and TV, I said “and this can’t be a bad thing”. Because I think if someone can give up these things and/or strives to, that’s a wonderful thing! I wasn’t criticizing anyone for giving these things up. I was criticizing the “I’m better than you” mentality displayed by some who don’t listen to music (and this is just one example, you could insert a myriad of things here), to those who do, or are struggling with it but can’t quite give it up.
We can not criticize people for what they choose in their own lives.”
And I’d agree with you here, although I feel that my main point of the article was missed, that while we, in general, as Muslims, can write hundreds of pages, if not books, on things like music being haram, a woman’s duties to her husband, women’s modesty, etc., how women are supposed to behave, and this list is by no means exhaustive, it’s just what’s in my head right now. You see a lot more, though not always, tiptoing around, beating around the bush, when issues like domestic violence, terrorism, or anything else that makes we Muslims uncomfortable come up. We don’t want to admit that these things happen, we want to sweep them under the rug, we want to blame the “West” for it, or someone or something else, when unfortunately these things happen in our community and doubly unfortunately, it seems, those who’ve taken tariqa aren’t any less prone to these sorts of things than the Salafis that many “traditional” Muslims snorted at, looked down their noses at, when Umar Lee wrote his post.
My post was not ment to attack or criticize anyone for how they live there lives. My post was an expression, though not a good one, it seems, of my frustration with my community, my Ummah, as a whole, this particular tariq in question being only a small fraction of it! And our penchant for criticizing others, for things like music and hijab (only two admittedly not adequate examples), yet not being as quick to address things like abuse of women and children and terrorism, only addressing them if it gets out into the non-Muslim “Western” media, and usually then it’s only to condemn it and point out that “we’re not the only ones doing it”. We as Muslims, should strive to be better than the man who abuses his wife, or the man who thinks it’s OK to kill innocent people in the name of Islam. Whether or not we listen to music notwithstanding.
I’d mentioned in a previous post that I felt a sense of sadness for my fellow Muslims and I do. As a Muslim, there are times that I feel I can’t be “real” with my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters, that I have to put on this “mantle of piety” so as not to upset or offend anyone or be accused of being “too worldly” or “not a good Muslim”, etc. I listen to music, we have already established that. I also like basketball, especially college basketball, and I look forward to the NCAA Tournament, aka March Madness, every year. I at this time don’t have a desire to make hijra/live in an “Islamic” country, although if I were to move anywhere, it most likely would be Senegal or The Gambia, and it would probably be because of my husband, or because I want to visit his family, or some other reason, and not because I’m trying to find some sorta “Muslim eutopia”, because that just doesn’t exist. There are pros and cons to living in a “Muslim country”, and there are pros and cons to living in The West. Yet one hindrance to me living anywhere outside of the US is my blindness. Not to mention that if I were to have kids, there could possibly be some health concerns that would keep me here in the US. And at least here in the US, I have clean drinking water, usually have clean food (the occasional limited outbreaks of various food-borne diseases notwithstanding), and modern conveniences that it’d be difficult for me to give up if I lived somewhere else.
Now, keep in mind, I’m not criticizing anyone who’s given up music or TV, who has moved to some other country to live, or has given up certain modern conveniences for the sake of their deen, and I’m sorry that it came across in that way. In fact, what I was saying is that I don’t want to be criticized. I don’t want my “Muslimness” to be measured by whether or not I have or use
TV or Internet, whether or not I “have a desire” or “want to move” or “have moved” to (insert Muslim country here), or whether or not I listen to the radio or music, etc.
My point was *just because* you take tariqa, or move to another country, or give up modern conveniences, it doesn’t necessarily make you a better person than the rest of us who don’t give up these things or are trying to give up these things but perhaps are not making as much progress as you are! It doesn’t mean that a man is going to treat his wife any better, or a wife be a better spouse to her husband, or that the character difficiencies in a person who chooses this route are just going to magicly disappear. “Taking tariqa” or “practicing tazkiya” or whatever you want to call it, is merely a means to an end, a way of saying “hey, I need help purifying my soul, coming closer to Allah and perfecting my character”. And while for some people, making hijra or giving up TV is the way to go, for others, it might be something different.
Islam is vast and encompassing, Mashallah, and can Inshallah accommodate varying degrees of lifestyle, from the person who makes hijra to the person who stays in the US, from the person who listens to music (whether struggling or not), to the person who doesn’t. At any rate, I’m starting to write in cirlces (I’ve written and re-written, and deleted and retyped), so I’ll leave this where it stands.
However, I have the distinct impression that there are certain things that we Muslims are not allowed to talk about, or if we do, we stand to be labelled as “bad Muslims” or “not Muslim enough” “trying to hurt the Muslims by airing their dirty laundry”, never mind that the media is all too willing to do it for us, or “someone who needs to be corrected”, or worse having the “kafir/kufar” word thrown at us. So perhaps this is just one of those things that should remain off limits if I want my thin skin not to be pierced.
I love my brothers and sisters, I wish that there were more of you that I could discuss things like basketball with, or my love of Senegambian food, or the adventures (or maybe misadventures) of me and Chloe, the accessibility or lack thereof of the Internet, work, kids, etc., without feeling like I was going to get beat over the head for “doing something of no benefit” or “wasting my time” or “not being a good enough of a Muslim”. Because yes I am a Muslim, but I’m also blind, have a dog named Chloe, love to read, I do watch some TV, though not a lot. I do listen to music, though not excessively, I like old-time radio programs, I’m a huge Youssou Ndour and Thione Seck fan (Senegalese mbalax music artists), The Young and the Restless is a guilty pleasure of mine, though I know there’s probably so much haram in that that that’d be a blog post in and of itself, I think that the TV show the Golden Girls is a hoot, I love Little House on the Prairie, I’ve adopted the phrase “tarter sauce” from Spongebob Squarepants, whenever something happens I don’t like or I’m frustrated. I know I’m difficient in character, see my previous posts regarding this. However, I love Islam, I love our Prophet (peace be upon him), there are times when I’m praying that I find myself nearly breaking down in tears (is this normal?), for the reflecting in my mind of Allah and HIs awesome power, how He’s blessed me with so much, how I went from being an abused, depressed, nearly-suicidal, nearly-broken woman, to a woman with a wonderful husband, decent house, good job, friends and family who love and care about me.
Reflecting on how Allah has taken care of me and has kept me out of many scrapes I could have gotten myself into, and assisted me and given me strength to get out of the scrapes I did get into, just about has me in tears of gratefulness now, it’s truly awe-inspiring to see the work of God, from the Asian tsunamis, to seeing someone reform themselves and clean up their life.
Anyway, I’m not sure where I’m going with this now, so I’ll end it now. Just that God knows I’m no better than anyone else! I’m struggling, I’m doing my best, sometimes I falter and fail. And on that note, my husband just brought me a gyro, some fries, and a chocolate milkshake, so I’m off to eat. I’m terribly sorry if I’ve offended or upset anyone, perhaps I should blog about less contentious topics in the future like, say, Chloe and her attempts to befriend the neighborhood feral cat, and leave the “controversy blogging” to others. Assalamu alaikum, my food awaits, Alhamdulillah, and my stomach is growling.
