So Where Do We Go From Here?

Assalamu alaikum / greetings, well now that I’ve hashed out my feelings (once again) on my experiences with blindness, and the attitudes of both the blind and sighted, the thought that’s been occurring most to me, during the past few days is, where do we go from here?

As far as the sighted dealing with the blind, I think the first step would be to admit that we may not truly be as advanced as a society in dealing with the disabled, as we think we are. And that our attitudes toward the disabled may not be all that “liberated” either. Just as racism and sexism is still an issue, ableism is still an issue also. The first step is for people to truly be honest with themselves as regards their own attitudes toward the disabled, i.e., whether the disabled can hold down a full-time job, raise a family, and/or otherwise lead a full and productive life as their non-disabled peers would.

If you don’t think that the disabled are capable people, can’t or shouldn’t be allowed to do things like work, have children, etc., why is that? If you were educated to the abilities of those who are blind, for example, would that change your mind? Would “education” actually help? The thing is, I had a recent conversation that made me wonder if, just as people don’t want to face their prejudices regarding race, that they may not want to face their prejudices regarding disability either.

So the first step is to deal with whatever prejudices people might have and then we can move forward from there. Also, blind people need to be honest with themselves as well, i.e., do they like their “condition”, would they change it if they could, is being sighted “better” than bieng blind, would being sighted make them more of a “normal” person, does being blind make you less of a person?

Because I’ve struggled with self-esteem issues for years, and I still struggle with issues of self-esteem and self-worth. And for years, I was not honest enough with myself to admit that. I told myself that I was just as good as anyone else, that I was capable, independent, all of that. I was intelligent, fun to be around, well-liked. But then, sometimes I wondered, did people talk to me just because they felt sorry for me. Did people really care about what I had to say or were they just telling me so so as not to hurt my feelings. I often wondered was I stupid, pretty, smart intelligent, ugly, nerdy, how did I look to other people.

I didn’t face my self-esteem issues until after I’d gotten divorced from my first husband, and I felt I had to face them, or else I’d probably end up in another abusive relationship and I definitely didn’t want that.

I think you tend to attract the people who kind of fulfill what you truly feel about yourself, when they tell you you’re stupid, you say in the back of your mind, yeah, I must be stupid, something must be wrong with me for me to end up in this situation.

It’s only when you recognize the issues that you have, that you say, wait, it’s not me that is stupid, or whatever, it’s *them* who has the problem. I try not to get too upset when a sighted person makes a stupid comment or when people decide that I can’t do something. Because it’s not me who has the problem, I have nothing to prove to anyone…

Because I’m doin’ it, I have a job, I participate in my community as best I can, I do pretty much everything else a sighted person does, and even if I didn’t, I’d still not be less of a person because of that. If I chose to live iwth my parents, or to not work, that would be OK, I think the issue is not what society decides is best for you, or what some blindness organization or training program decides is best for you, it’s what you decide is best for you. Whatever makes you happy, fulfilled, content.

And Alhamdulillah that I got to this point.