Commuter colleges go residential, gain enrollment

TBO.com – News From AP

Conditions Foreshadow Tropical Storm Activity

Conditions Foreshadow Tropical Storm Activity

Tagging / Memes

Assalamu alaikum, I seem to have some mems out there, that I’ve been tagged to do (Izzy Mo and Aaminah just to name two that I can think of.

Memes are something that I’ve got to be in the right mood for, and most of the itme, I’ve just been too lazy to do them, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I’ll get to it eventually, Inshallah.

More Reminiscin’

Assalamu alaikum all, well, heard some old R&B stuff today, and well, that brought back a whole host of other memories…

From about the Mid 1980’s to Mid 1990’s, I pretty much listened to R&B hip hop, and dance music, with some pop and rock thrown in there just to keep things interesting, today, I’ll focus on some R&B. Again, during my middle and high school years, we had WJEL to listen to, then we had WTLC, which was a good urban station, with some, well, to me anyway, seemingly odd quirks. For example, while Urban radio was getting into hip hop, etc., WTLC would refuse to play any rap music, even to the point that they’d cut out the rap verses in songs like Don’t Be Cruel by Bobby Brown, etc., and they’d play the instrumentals of popular rap songs, like one time they even played the instrumental to “Self-Destruction” now if that ain’t wack, I don’t know what is, but supposedly, they wouldn’t play the rap because “some people said they’d stop listening if we started playing rap”, like there was any other real competition in the urban market in Indy at that time.
We also had a station called WPZZ which was really hard to pick up where I was, being that their transmittor was all the way in Franklin, which was south of Indy, and I was on the north side, and Q-95 (the classic rock station), pretty much bled over everything around the 94 and 95 frequencies if not other frequencies, as well.

And WPZZ kinda had a weak frequency anyway, but until about late 1989? they had a good urban format and better music than WTLC, but you just had to be in the right place in the city to pick them up and I think they really hurt them. It wasn’t until Hoosier 96 came on the air that the pop and urban stations got “wise to the game” as they say and tried to revamp themselves, WTLC starting to play rap, implementing a “quiet storm” format at night, and a more hip hop oriented programming on the weekends.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, favorite R&B songs of the ’80s…

The Dazz Band: Heartbeat. Reminds me of listening to slow jams at night, for some reason I was picking up a station out of Fort Wayne called Foxy 107.9,which I hardly ever picked up because it had a weak frequency and the station on the same frequency out of Indy almost always bled over it, and they had a show on at night called “Soft Sounds”, and I remember taping a lot of good songs off of that program, because well, WTLC didn’t do that, and the “quiet storm” show they did have, came on at, get this, Thursday afternoons at 4?! And lasted for an hour. And consisted of a lot of music that I’d never heard of with the DJ talking in a sexy voice over that music! Yuck!

I mean, most quiet storm shows did something like that, i.e., the DJ usually talking in a soft, subdued “quiet storm-y” voice, but… Well, I don’t know how to explain this, it was just, well, gross to me, and you’d just have to have heard it to know what I’m talking about, and if I can find any obscure audio samples I’ll try to post them. Perhaps the adults at that time liked it, but, well, I didn’t.

Guy, Let’s Chill: Reminds me of my first crush, a guy who used to go to the Michigan School for the Blind, who I only saw like once a year, but thought I loved (ugh how stupid!). Wonder whatever happened to him?

Boyz II Men: The whole CooleyHighHarmony album… Reminds me of, hmmmm, 1992 or was it 1993 track season? (blind schoo track season was in the fall as oppposed to public school track season)

Jodeci, Forever My Lady. Oh boy… I first heard this song while putting on my track shoes, I was at a meet at the Tennessee School for the Blind, was sitting on the floor in my room putting on my track shoes, and when that song came on the radio, I stopped in mid-tie still holding the shoestrings in my hands…

Silk, Lose Control. Both the song and album. I’ve got a whole back story to this one… There was a guy who went to TSB (Tennessee School for the Blind), who I met at this choir performance in 1993, who claimed (Allah knows best about this), that his cousin was in Silk, and I pretty much told everyone very publicly that I thought he was full of, well, and I told him if it were true his cousin would have to call me himself and tell me, and besides, I thought, and told him as much, that the only reason he was telling me that was to well, get something from me and I just wasn’t going there.

I did kinda like him, though, but I tried to be all tough and bad and not show it, because I had a feeling he wasn’t nothing, and there was something about him that was magnetic yet scared me at the same time. And instead of just being real with him, or if not that, trying to at least be civil to the guy, I acted a fool and hid my “feelings” with a tough/hard exterior, which probably made things even more obvious to people. Not to mention making a fool out of myself.

Anyway, I’m sure some will say “oh sister, why do you talk about this, this is in your jahili past”… Because it is part of me, and it informs the person, the Muslim, I am today, I can look back on thigns and see Allah’s wisdom in certain prohibitions, teachings, etc.

And I see in myself the characteristics of restlessness, the tendency toward the “bad boys” or the “not so good” guys, that could have led me down a very different path than the one Allah put me on. And I can look back and say Alhamdulillah for everything, the good, the bad, the hurt, the happiness, because it all taught me something.

To the guy whose cousin was supposedly in Silk, sorry dog, if it’s true, I just thought you were gamin’, no disrespect… And if anyone’s wondering why I am even addressing this, well, let me tell you, sometimes the paths of blind/visually impaired people cross frequently, and ya just never know who’s reading out there in Internet land.

Next time, perhaps I’ll discuss TV shows…

Or maybe I’ll elaborate on some blind school memories… We’ll see.

Another Reason to Love Sattelite Radio…

Assalamu alaikum, wow… Am listening to XM’s The Rhyme on Channel 65. And they’ve been playing songs from 1988 for, well, since I started listening and that was about 10?

I’m not sure how often they do this? Just pick a year and start playing music from that year? But anyway, this is takin’ me back to when I was 12/13 years old, and I’m feeling, well, old…

The Rhyme is an old-school hip hop channel, better than the Sirius equivalent of Backspin. Because, well, it’s not as repetitious.

Anyway, so what have I heard this evening? Currently playing “Run’s House” by Run-DMC. Played “I Need a Beat” by LL Cool J earlier (which I liked mostly for the cool effects which I don’t know how to describe). Played “I’ts Like That Ya’ll” from Sweet Tee, didn’t like that song too much but liked a few of her other songs. Played Risin’ To The Top from Doug E Fresh (which reminds me of sitting outside listening to the radio at my aunt’s house during the summer)

Hmmm, they’ve also been playing movie clips/trailers etc., from Colors (remember that one), played a clip from Wrestlemania where Jesse The Body Ventura is announcing “We have a new heavyweight champion of the world!”. And played a clip from another movie I can’t remember right now.

And also played probably two of my favorite hip hop songs which would be “My Philosophy” from KRS-One/Boogie Down Productions and “Hey Young World” from Slick Rick.

Is Now playing ERIC B. & RAKIM PAID IN FULL (SEVEN MINUTES OF MADNESS-THE COLDCUT REMIX. Wow, didn’t know that was what it was called? Well, I know it was called Paid in Full, just didn’t know that was the title of the remix. The part of the song I remember most was something about fish being Rakim’s favorite dish and thinking to myself how I couldn’t agree more, and then I’d want some fried fish. And who is that lady singing in the song? Who is she? I always thought she had a pretty voice. Now if perhaps Suite 62 or The Groove could pick a year and play the R&B stuff for a particular year, now that would be cool. Heck, pretty much any genre of music, well, maybe just pop, R&B, hip hop, and dance perhaps, could do that and it would take me back.

I’ve mentioned before that in 1988, and some years before and after that time, my primary outlet for hip hop/rap music was a high school radio station run from North Central High School in Indianapolis called WJEL. Every Monday from 3:30 to 9:30 they had an R&B / Hip Hop format with some house thrown in sometimes. I think as time went on, WJEL put more shows on during the week that played much the same format, but I think in 1988, Mondays were the only days they did that.

Anyway, we had a couple of guys from the school that also had radio shows on WJEL, though I only listened to them a few times as I was busy with other things when they were on. One of the guys I still speak with from time to time usually regarding alumni-related things, or if he has a question about some obscure African or world music artist he thinks I might know something about.

I’m not sure exactly what he does, I think he has a radio show in Fort Wayne, and perhaps still sells music to stations/people, though I’m not sure. But he has just about anything, American Music wise, that you could want, and if he doesn’t he can probably get it for you.

Anyway, I’m digressing… And I gotta go to bed as much as I’d love to stay up and listen to this show… I gotta work to afford my XM and my Internet subscription too. So bye for now.

Ovarian Cancer Symptoms, Blood Test Offer Early Detection

Ovarian Cancer Symptoms, Blood Test Offer Early Detection

Doubts Cast on High School Pregnancy Pact : NPR

Doubts Cast on High School Pregnancy Pact : NPR

Some Muslim Americans Feel Shunned by Obama – NYTimes.com

Some Muslim Americans Feel Shunned by Obama – NYTimes.com

Lightning Safety Awareness Week

Lightning Safety Awareness Week

VOA News – Zimbabwe Crisis Takes Sharp Turn As Tsvangirai Seeks Embassy Refuge

VOA News – Zimbabwe Crisis Takes Sharp Turn As Tsvangirai Seeks Embassy Refuge

A Lion Of A Law Enforcement Dog Is Retiring In Pinellas

A Lion Of A Law Enforcement Dog Is Retiring In Pinellas

Assassins in Zimbabwe Aim at the Grass Roots – NYTimes.com

Assalamu alaikum, just heartbreaking. And can someone explain to me again how Mugabe is a “liberator” again?

And warning, some of this article may be disturbing for some, as it was for me.

Assassins in Zimbabwe Aim at the Grass Roots – NYTimes.com

Zimbabwe Opposition Leader Pulls Out of Runoff – NYTimes.com

Assalamu alaikum,

“How can you have an election where people are killed and hacked to death as the sun goes down?” Mr. Khumalo asked. “How can you have an election where the leader of one party is not even allowed to conduct rallies?”

And some people want to still call Mugabe a “liberator”, want to blame “The West” or America, or “the British”, for “putting Mugabe in the position where he’s in, where he’s forced to do the things that he does because he’s being pushed up against a wall”. “Because the opposition is just a tool of the West anyway”. So their supporters deserve to be killed? The opposition leaders deserve to be thrown in jail on trumped up charges of *gasp* “treason? All because Mugabe *used to be* some kind of liberator? Because he said some things about “pan-Africanism”, because he said some things against “the evil West”?

Nonetheless, Zimbabwe’s information minister, Sikhanyiso Ndlovu, told The Associated Press that the runoff would go forward on Friday despite Mr. Tsvangirai’s departure from the race.

“The Constitution does not say that if somebody drops out or decides to chicken out the runoff will not be held,” Mr. Ndlovu said.

Chickening out? Chickening out!? Are you really serious!? I heard “this good minister” say just about the same thing this morning on “the evil BBC”, as I was trying to get back to sleep after taking Chloe out, and I was truly disgusted! Mugabe’s government is responsible for ruining the country (though they blame it on the West), and the oppression of his own people (and I don’t see any outside “Western” hand in that), and even if that is the case, even if you want to say that “outside forces” still have control of Zimbabwe, it’s not these people who cut off food aid to their own people by forcing aid agencies to stop their work and why? because (oh they’re tools of the west, and there goes that excuse again), it’s not these people that are preventing people from rallying and supporting the candidate of their choice.
It’s not anyone from “the outside” that is using every tactic in the book to perpetuate themselves in power and saying things like “only God can make me give up power” or “the bullet is mightier than a ball point pin”.

Give me a break! How can we, for example, spend days, write volumes, criticizing Yahya Jammeh (and others), yet still insist on holding up Mugabe as a “pillar of virtue”, albeit with statements like (well he’s done some things that are wrong”. And if anyone dares to cite any of these “things” we’re told we are just a “shameless tool of the west”.

Until we, as Africans, Muslims, white people, Americans, whatever, start calling a spade a spade, start speaking the truth “even if it’s against our own selves”, even if it’s against so-called leaders that we revere as “pan-Africanists” or as “someone who stood up to the West”, or as “liberators” or whatever, we’re not going to get anywhere. Because many of these so-called “liberators” are not liberators anymore, and have turned out to be worse for their own people than any person, group, corporation, or entity from “The West”.

I’ve asked this question before and I’ll ask it again, what separates Mugabe from Jammeh? Is it that Mugabe is educated and Jammeh is not? Is it that Mugabe has fought a war of liberation from colonization, and Jammeh has not? What other differences are there?

If we’re just going to go on the first two differences, I’d say that Mugabe is *worse* than Jammeh, because he should know better, firstly because he’s educated (and Jammeh, well, as far as we know barely got through high school), and secondly because Mugabe would know what it’s like to be oppressed by another group of people and we’d like to think that he’d not want the same to befall his own people, once he won his struggle for liberation.

Sadly, from all indications that I can gather, this has not been the case. In fact, he’s been in power longer than Jammeh, and has engaged in worse acts of oppression than Jammeh.

Yet the same people who will go on and on about Jammeh, will be some of the same who will say things like “oh I know you were going to bring that up”, when you bring up certain campaigns of opression, and then have the gall to ask why these happened, what were the reasons for these campaigns, and the best answer you get is something along the lines of “oh Mugabe was just trying to root out evil Western influence from his country”.

It seems that if Jammeh were smart, he’d go back to school, get a degree, wax poetic about Pan-Africanism, evil white people and the West, and perhaps he might curry more favor with some people. Although unfortunately, there is nothing to “liberate” the Gambia from except Jammeh himself. So he doesn’t have a “liberation struggle” to fight.

In my book, right is right, wrong is wrong, oppression is oppression, etc., and on and on and on, and just because you got some education, just because you fight a war of liberation, just because you “stand up to the powers-that-be” whoever they are, or whoever you want them to be, these things don’t absolve you of any of this.

If you kill your own people, ruin the country such that inflation is, well, gastronomical, if you prevent the people from expressing their true political will by force, if you prevent the people who oppose you from rallying and well, voting against you and your policies, and when you continue to do things to perpetuate yourself in power, then imho, that makes any liberation struggle you ever fought, any good you may have done or stood up for in the past, any education you got, null and void!

I’m just tired of people continually feeling the need to praise tyrants, criminals, corporate thugs, etc., as some sort of “heroes”, just because they may have done some good in the past. And lately the situation in Zimbabwe and watching the antics of Mugabe and his government has just really gotten under my skin (in much the same way that watching Jammeh and the APRC government does). And I just felt the need to speak on it. And there is my two cents for the week, or perhaps the month, who knows.

Zimbabwe Opposition Leader Pulls Out of Runoff – NYTimes.com

Paper: Muslim Women Sidelined at Obama Rally : NPR

Assalamu alaikum, NPR’s “All Things Considered” talks to Ben Smith of the Politico site regarding the Muslim women being barred fromsitting behind the podium at the Obama event. And Inshallah, this is the last on this issue.

Time to go eat some more of my husband’s tacos (yum!)

Paper: Muslim Women Sidelined at Obama Rally : NPR

Ben Smith’s Blog: Obama apologizes to Muslim women; apology accepted – Politico.com

Assalamu alaikum, I’m glad to hear this, but it still bothers me…

Because I understand why the campaign volunteers did what they did. I mean, read the comments (or perhaps don’t, because some of them are quite offensive), but the comments show why the campaign would feel the need to keep people who are visibly Muslim out of site.

I’m not sayin’ it’s right, I don’t like it, but as I said before, it is what it is.

Ben Smith’s Blog: Obama apologizes to Muslim women; apology accepted – Politico.com

Obama’s Campaign Tightens Control of Image and Access – NYTimes.com

Assalamu alaikum,

The Obama campaign said it quickly called the women to apologize after learning of the incident. “It doesn’t reflect the orientation of the campaign,” said Anita Dunn, a senior adviser to Mr. Obama. “I do not believe that mistake will be made again.”

But the incident, first reported Wednesday by Politico.com, pointed to pitfalls the campaign faces as it moves into the general election and seeks to maintain control of Mr. Obama’s image by tightly managing his public appearances.

The Obama campaign is vigilantly fighting erroneous information that has spread on the Internet that he is Muslim — he is, in fact, Christian — and emphasizing his patriotism and American story, with flags in abundance. In Washington on Wednesday, he invited photographers to his meeting with new members of his national security team and retired military officers supporting his candidacy.

So what I’m reading is “we didn’t want the Muslim women to be seen because, well, too many people think he’s a Muslim already, and having these women appearing on TV or in photographs would be, well, not good for Obama”.

All of this “this mistake won’t be made again” and “calling the women to apologize” etc., is just well, they have to do it to look good.

And the more I think about it, the more offended I am about it.

As my husband said “he’s not actively going to court Muslim voters, and you shouldn’t expect him to”. Though my husband didn’t share my outrage at this incident (but then again, he’s very laid back, too, Mashallah).

Obama’s Campaign Tightens Control of Image and Access – NYTimes.com

Obama’s Campaign Apparently Dissing Hijabis…

Assalamu alaikum, I wanted to elaborate more on this piece that Aaminah also linked to as well.

Because the more I think about it the more it bothers me. It’s like “yeah we want your vote, but we don’t want to associate with you, and God forbid that an identifiably Muslim person actually appears in a photograph”… Because ya know, “it’s just not politically expedient for us to associate with you Mozzies anyway”.

And I can say yeah, perhaps Obama doesn’t “agree” with this action or “condone” this sort of thing, but then again, how did these campaign staffers get the idea that Muslim women wearing head scarves should be excluded from sitting behind the stage or appearing in photographs because it would not be “politically expedient”. I’m not sure I buy the “we don’t condone this and it didn’t come from the top” statements and the “we deplore the actions of these people who don’t reflect what we stand for”, etc., etc., especially when I get the feeling that Obama is all but running from anything resembling Islam and Muslims.

And as an “Obama supporter with reservations”, well, this just gives me one more reason to pause and ask myself, “what kind of change will there be, as a Muslim woman, if I help elect this guy in November”?

I am almost sure that emailing the Obama campaign about my concerns will get me nowhere (as it did last time I tried this), perhaps I should post something on my blog over at http://my.barackobama.com.

IMHO, the women offended in this story should be first on the list to be allowed to sit behind the stage, be offered a private audience with, or whatever it will take for them to air their concerns. And as the original piece linked to suggested, why would you do this in an area predominated by Arabs and Muslims, people who could conceivably be one of your core constituencies? Does getting the so-called “white, working-class” read “I won’t vote for a black guy anyway so what’s the use in trying” vote mean that much that in so doing, you could alienate another constituency?

The problem is, being “Muslim” is a “bad thing”. Muslims are terrorists, Muslims want to impose their values on the “rest of us”. Muslims are violent people, and in the mainstream media, and in mainstream political circles, this is how Muslims are viewed. It’s sad but true and Obama knows this. If he can disassociate himself from his church (rightly or wrongly), a church he was a member of for 20 years, whose head pastor married him and his wife and who baptized his children, all for political expediency, then why should Muslims think that he would give our issues the time of day?

And I’m saying this with a profound sense of sadness and disappointment. These thoughts are coming from someone who is inspired by Obama’s speeches, who is hoping against hope that Obama can bring some kinda “change” for the better to this country. Who has signed up and is schedule to attend the Polk for Obama Organizing Meeting scheduled for June 28. I can truly say that I’ve never been as interested in the political process, or as excited about a candidate, as I have been, but events like this, along with a seeming lack of concern about the plight of the Palestinian people, which I’ve talked about before, do much to dampen the excitement that I feel.

Reading the article about the treatment of the Muslim women made me wonder how I, as a hijab-wearing Muslim, would be treated? Would I, too, also be discriminated against, would I, too, be pushed to the back, pushed out of sight, because the way I looked wasn’t “politically expedient” for the Obama campaign?

Which then brings me to think that would my support, my excitement, my volunteering, my donations, or my vote be “less exceptable” to the Obama campaign because I’m a Muslim woman? And I can’t help but think that, given the way these Muslim women were treated, that the answer would be “yes”, my support, as a Muslimah, is less acceptable, dare I even say, not wanted, because the support of Muslims, in general, isn’t wanted, because “there’s just too many people who think that Obama is a Muslim anyway, so vocal, visible support of Muslims just isn’t wanted right now”. And that was what that article said to me, deep down.

That Muslims just aren’t good enough to be seen with Obama, that Muslims aren’t good enough for our issues to be discussed, etc., etc., why? Well, let’s face it, because “other constituencies are more important than you”. Or, maybe “not good enough” isn’t the right phrase, more like “you’re just too radioactive right now, being associated with you will damage us right now”.

And that, in a nutshell, was what these two Muslim women were told at the campaign rally in Detroit. Yeah, they could come to the rally, they just couldn’t be seen, in a way that could be dredged up later, as visibly supporting him, headscarf and all. I guess I’ll keep that in mind the next time a rally is nearby, or the next time they have the “dinner with Barack” promotion (which I’d probably not ever be a part of as one look at my picture, that of a blind Muslim woman with a Leader Dog, would probably throw me out of contention right then and there).

So I’d say that my support of Obama at this point is a bit, well, cautious. And I’m still glad that it’s him that won the nomination and not Hillary, and I just wish that his campaign would have been a bit more sympathetic to the women, and more outspoken about how this sort of treatment toward their supporters shouldn’t be tolerated, etc., etc.

Black Political Thought: Barack Obama Campaign Volunteers Say No to Muslim Headscarves in Detroit Rally Photograph

Assalamu alaikum, I have to say that though this might not be reflective of the Obama campaign as a whole, as a Muslim woman who wears hijab, I find this to be quite troubling…

Black Political Thought: Barack Obama Campaign Volunteers Say No to Muslim Headscarves in Detroit Rally Photograph

Iowa Floods: ‘Our Own Katrina’ | theledger.com | The Ledger | Lakeland, FL

Iowa Floods: ‘Our Own Katrina’ | theledger.com | The Ledger | Lakeland, FL

Accessible Islamic Links for the Blind / Visually Impaired

Assalamu alaikum, OK, so I hate to whine and complain about things not being accessible, because a lot of the time, I really don’t know how to fix said accessibility solutions. (except to email the site administrator, etc.), But I feel like I complain sometimes, yet really don’t offer as much as I could in the way of solutions to fix whatever it is I’m complaining about. I just sorta expect things to be accessible, because, well, they just should be. As if I’m back in blind school world or something, when everything was in Braille or on tape or in large print format or whatever. And that’s just not a good thing.

Regarding things Islamic, I’ve often felt frustrated that resources that could increase my Islamic knowledge are just simply not available to me, and anyone who could teach blind Muslims, i.e., the Arabic Braille code, how to read the Qur’an in Braille, etc., are just too far away from me for me to be able to access. And regarding online classes, at some point, with anything in the area of Islamic knowledge, one just must know Arabic, there’s just no way around it.

When I see a class or program somewhere, and I see the phrase “knowledge of Arabic is required”, or whatever, I get this sinking feeling that I will never move past knowing the basics of Islam, fiqh, tajweed of the Qur’an etc., because I won’t be able to find anyone who can even begin to teach me how to read Arabic, etc., etc., and then I briefly engage in a moment of self-pity.

Even if I could learn Arabic Braille, just as in English Braille, materials for gaining knowledge would be in short supply. That would then necesitate me getting some sort of an Arabic Screen-reader, and finding some alternative way to if not learn the Arabic language, which I could conceivably do, but to get online materials in Arabic, that I could then be able to decipher because I would have the knowledge to understand whatever it was the screen reader was trying to tell me. The problem is, I’m not sure if there is a screen-reader which would read both English and Arabic, such that I could take an online Arabic class, and be able to read everything that was on the screen.

It really bothers me when I get in moods like this, but it also bothers me that my Islamic knowledge has definitely plateaued, and yet I have a desire to learn more. And unfortunately, no means to do so that I’m aware of. I can understand being rewarded for my intentions, I can understand people saying that not everyone was meant to be a scholar, etc., etc., but when I hear people say things like this, I feel like their just brushing me off, that they just want me to just shut up and stop complaining.

But as my years as a Muslim go by, my angst because of my lack of knowledge and my seeming inability to acquire it makes me feel even more, well, anxious, like I should be doing something but I’m not. That “everyone else who’s been Muslim for as long as me would know more than me”. That I’ll always be treated like the new Muslim who just said Shahadah, and to be honest, sometimes I feel like no one would be too far off the mark for treating me this way.

But every time I hear someone say “all Muslims should strive to learn Arabic”, etc., etc., I feel sad because, well, I feel as though, unless Allah makes some sort of way for me, I’ll never learn Arabic, I probably won’t learn much of the Qur’an, except to recite it phonetically.

I know I’m whining, I probably seem as though I’m doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself. But it’s hard to explain to people how it feels to want to do something, and to keep hitting a brick wall every time you try to do it. And to be told “Inshalah”, when you just want to vent and get some support from your fellow Muslims when you express your frustrations in doing something that I’d venture to say most sighted Muslims take for granted.

Yes, Inshallah… That I’ll be rewarded for my struggles, that perhaps my desire to learn and my inability to do so because of my lack of sight will perhaps make up for my shortcomings in other areas. That perhaps I will find a way to gain the knowledge I so want to have, simply because I want to learn as much as I can and use it to better myself and others. But if I’m not able to do that, may Allah give me the strength to be patient and content.

I know all of this, but when I hear people say it, their tone tells me they don’t quite know what to say or think, they don’t know quite what to tell me. And much of the time, it sounds patronizing and paternalistic, like you’re telling a small child to shut up because they want a piece of candy and you don’t want them to have it.

Yes, Inshallah, but at least please understand why I’m frustrated, please just have some sympathy, I think that’s all I’m asking. I mean, a “yes I understand, I know you want to learn but things just aren’t out there, let me see if I can find anything out for you”. Or “I don’t know anyone but let me ask around”, that sorta thing. Not the “Inshallah” stuff and then “oh sister, when are you gonna have kids”. Or, “oh sister, recite all of the Qur’an you know and tell us how to pray and make wudu and ghusl ’cause we want to make sure you know”. I think by this time, as these sorts of things have happened in quick succession of one another, in the space of an evening, just understand how demoralized and “patted on the head” I feel, that I feel like no more than a child, that I feel awful, that I feel “not as good as” the others in the room. ’cause not only do “I not have the knowledge” but “I don’t have kids” either. So something must really be wrong with me.

I think sometimes this is why I don’t like being around any sighted people, be they Muslim or not, because it really causes some serious feelings of self-doubt. Perhaps that’s not a good thing, and I understand that, but it’s just not good to be around people that seem to accentuate what you *can’t* do. And it’s one thing to say “Inshallah … ” etc., but use a more, I don’t know, “dignified” tone of voice, that doesn’t sound so condescending and patronizing. And I understand that the vast majority of people truly mean well. I’ve been in situations myself where when someone has told me something, that my response was lacking. But my reaction would have been to then say “hey I know my response is not what it should be, but I really don’t know what to say, and I wish I did”. That kind of response given to me would not bother me in the slightest.

It’s the kind of response that seems to say, in the brevity and the tone of voice that “well, let’s just say something nice and turn the conversation to something else, because discussing this makes me feel uncomfortable”.

I really don’t know how to explain how I feel, that doesn’t make it sound as though I’m not thinking the best about my fellow Muslims and all of that. Anyway…

What got me started on all of this was that I’d wanted to recommit myself to trying to learn the Qur’an, and to my knowledge, there is no one here in my small community that is able to teach me at this time. So the only way I can do it would be online. And Mere Muslim’s Qur’an resources seemed to be a good jumping off point, and as I said on his site, the Qur’an Explorer site is a good one. But alas, it seems some of the graphic to click on and play the recitations are not accessible! And yes, emailing the site administrator would be a good idea, however, I don’t know how to tell them *how* to make things accessible. Except for “flash is bad, most of the time, very, very bad, unless of course it’s made accessible but I don’t know how to do that”. So I’m just left complaining, or just keeping quiet and finding an alternative resource.

But are there? I’m not sure if there are any pages out there with any links catering to blind and visually impaired Muslims? Perhaps this is a project I should start, Inshallah.

Because I don’t just want to complain, as I’ve said before when things like this have come up, I’d like to offer solutions, if I can. But this doesn’t take away from the frustration I’ve always felt, ever since I can remember, when things weren’t accessible, or I was told I couldn’t do something.