Pictures from the Presidential Nomination Day in The Gambia
Courtesy of the UDP/NRP webiste.
Make Dua Please!
Assalamu alaikum, please make dua for me guys! I’ve had some medical issues crop up, and I need to have some tests done, which I’d rather not go into detail
about. But please make dua for me! I don’t feel frightened or anything, whatever Allah wills, He wills, may He give me patience and steadfastness to
deal with whatever happens.
Odds and Ends
Assalamu alaikum / greetings, I was not sure how to title this post, it’s just a bunch of odds and ends really.
Firstly, my "kitty experience" isn’t going very well. As you may (or may not) know, we have a litter of four kittens. I’d wanted to keep one of them, but well, he’s not taking well to the litter box, and he’s gone to the bathroom just about everywhere else but, and I’ve had my hands full trying to clean my room, and clothes and bed things, etc. However, he’s such a sweet cat, I wish he’d just hurry up and learn to use the litter box, because if he doesn’t, I can’t keep him! And that makes me sad. If anyone has any tips on training reluctant kitties to use the litter box, I’d be ever so grateful.
Spike Lee Katrina Documentary
Did anyone watch that on HBO? I can’t remember the exact name, but, one of my coworkers mentioned it, so I watched it! I thought it was good, but ever so sad! Yeah, I admit, I cried! OK, so laugh at me, I’m a whimp, OK? What I really liked is that people at the end said their names and where they were from. Something about that was touching to me, because it gave them a name, a face, and they weren’t just nameless, faceless people that you could just forget.
Nighmares About the House Fire
In a previous post, where I described the "smoke alarm incident", I forgot to clarify why it was so scary for me. About a year and a half ago, in March 2005, my brother, sister-in-law, and I lost our house in a house fire. I was at home by myself at the time, and I had no idea my house was even on fire, and if it were not for Abby barking at me and me taking her out, because I thought she had to go out to use the bathroom, well, Allah alone knows for sure if I’d have gotten out, but,according to my dad, if I’d not gotten out when I did, judging by how the fire burned and the kind of damage afterwords, I’d most likely have been trapped in the living room by fire. And thus, not able to get out.
At first, nightmares were not a problem, but I’ve found here recently that they seem to be increasing. What’s up with that? I’ve also begun having anxiety issues, seemingly afraid, feeling completely terrified, but with no reason to feel that way. It’s quite scary, and I feel silly and stupid. It’s almost like the house fire and the anxiety with that, coupled with the anxiety I’d feel well, when I was married, has sort of combined, and created, I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like sometimes I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of fear, with no current reason why. I guess I should do something about that. But the latest dream consisted of a part where I was standing outside of my house that I live in now, but when I walked in, I was in the old house, and there was fire coming out of my room.
Another dream, I’m running through my current house, trying to get to my brother and sister-in-law’s room, to wake them up, and I can’t get there because there’s fire coming out of the kitchen. And one thing that is prevalent in all of these dreams is the smell of smoke! So much so that it’s still in my nose when I wake up. But Alhamdulillah the nightmares are not terribly frequent, maybe once a week or two? I don’t know. Maybe I should start keeping a written record.
So I was going to write / say something else, and now I can’t remember what it was. Hmmm. So guess this is a good time to end this post.
Confusion is holiday tradition for Muslims
Panel to no longer rely on moon sightings to set end of Ramandan fast and beginning of celebration
Link: ContraCostaTimes.com | 08/17/2006 | Confusion is holiday tradition for Muslims.
A Bit of a Scare!
Assalamu alaikum / greetings, well, I kind of had a bit of a scare this morning. I was standing in my room, getting ready for work. I’d just put on my shoes, and was getting my things together, and getting ready to take the dog out.
All of a sudden, I heard this loud, beeping sound. At first, I thought it was the microwave, but then, all of a sudden, I realized it was not. It was the smoke alarm!
My first thought was, "Is that the smoke alarm?" My next thought was, "Why is the smoke alarm going off?" At which point, I turned around and flew out of my room, sort of instinctively! I was starting to pass the kitchen, where my brother stopped me and told me to go back. Then, I smelled what smelled like an overheated curling iron or something like that! Or maybe that smell when something falls on a burner on the stove.
At any rate, I asked my brother what had happened, and he said he didn’t know, which for a split second, didn’t make me feel any better. But he went around the house and checked everything out, and I went to take the dog out.
Later, when I got in the car to go to work, I asked my brother what happened, and he said that he thought maybe a mouse (yeah we have those) had gotten behind the freezer we have in our kitchen, and maybe had gotten stuck on one of the hot coils behind the freezer. But Alhamdulillah that didn’t happen when I was by myself, because if I’d have come out of my room and smelled that smell, I’d have probably just instinctively run out of the house and called 911. Because I’d have had no way of knowing what was going on, and had their actually been a fire, it’d have been stupid for me to go running around the house trying to find it! But anyway, Alhamdulillah that we are all OK. But I feel bad for the unfortunate mouse!
Feeling Overwhelmed.
Assalamu alaikum / greetings, I was browsing Zaytuna’s site the other day, and came across the link to their pilate seminary program. "Oh, boy!" I thought, and then I clicked on the link. You know, sometimes, as a relatively new Muslim, I feel really overwhelmed. I come into contact with Muslims who have so much more knowledge than I do, so much more Taqwa, are spiritually, I don’t know, well, they are farther on the spiritual path than I could ever hope to be. And while maybe it shouldn’t, it makes me feel overwhelmed, and sometimes I feel a sense of frustration. One example is when I’m reading through an email list and I come across terminology that I have no idea what it means! Or when people post Arabic without giving the translation, or when people say that "Muslims should learn Arabic". And if you say, "Well, how can I learn Arabic when there is no one to teach me?" And then, I’m told, "You should go where the scholars are". And if you say, "I’m not able to do that." Then it’s "Well, sometimes you need to sacrifice." How do I do that? Am I expected to just get up, leave my house, my job, my family, and just deposit myself on Zaytuna’s doorstep and say, "Here I am, teach me Arabic?" Or, "Here I am, I want to seek knowledge"? In a perfect world, I guess I’d be taken in and someone would teach me what I want to know. But, well, we don’t live in a perfect world! And while idealistically, I’d love to just pick up and "go where the knowledge is", it just doesn’t seem practical. I have to have a way of supporting myself, of providing food, clothing, and shelter for myself. I guess I could take the online classes, and I’ve done that before, and while I could learn maybe my fiqh from those classes, what about Arabic? Would I have to learn Arabic strictly from a phonetic point of view? Or would there be someone available to teach me Arabic in Braille? This would mean that not only would this person need to know Arabic, but the Braille code for Arabic as well. And that’s a bit of a tall order. But sometimes, I don’t know, I just feel, well, overwhelmed. And I feel like sometimes I’m struggling just to get the "basics" down. And maybe it shouldn’t bother me, maybe I hsouldn’t feel frustrated, and I know I should keep making dua, but you know… I just feel like there are so many obstacles in my path. And while seeking knowledge shouldn’t be "easy", I just feel like the obstacles in my path, to getting to where I want to be, are almost insurmountable. BTW, I have the primers / books that are designed to teach Arabic / the Qur’an to blind Muslims, but the actual teaching material is in print, while the primer for the student to follow is in Braille. So this would mean the teacher would teach from the printed book, while the student presumably followed along in Braille. Anyway, I really don’t mean to make a big deal about this, but sometimes I just feel overwhelmed and frustrated, and Inshallah, I’m not the only one.
On Muslims Apologizing?
Assalamu alaikum / greetings, on Umar Lee, Izzy Mo, and Tariq Nelson’s blogs, they have talked about Muslims apologizing for the actions of *some* Muslims. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about this. As a blind person, who definitely doesn’t like being held up as the "standard for all of blind-dom", I can definitely relate. And I can definitely apply some of my experiences of a blind woman to those of being a Muslim woman as well. For example, some blind people read Braille, but many do not. Some blind people use canes, guide dogs, or a sighted guide, etc. Just as some Muslims follow madhhabs, and some don’t, some wear hijab or some don’t, some are in a tariqa and practice tasawuf and some don’t. Now, I’m not going to talk about the "permissibility" of certain things, I’m just stating what is actually going on. Just as blind people have many different ways of doing things and acting, so the same can be applied to Muslims. I remember when I was attending the blind school, and before we’d go on a field trip, we’d get the speech from adults on how we are "representing the blind school", and how we are representing blind people so we should be on our best behavior, etc. And while we really should be on our best behavior, it should be because we want to be good kids, and not because we’re trying to uphold some standard. And the same goes for being good Muslims. We shouldn’t want to be good Muslims, just because we’re afraid what "the West" or Jews or Christians, or whoever, will think of us, but what Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala would think of us, because that is the most important thing. However, having said that, the sad reality is that just as with blind people, some people meet one Muslim, or hear about one bad thing that Muslims did, and they make the assumption that all Muslims are like this. This is not right, but it happens. Which is why, sadly, at least the "big Muslim organizations" probably should condemn all of the terrorist acts. No, I don’t like it, and I don’t think that individual Muslims should condemn this. However, I don’t know, not that a press release always works, but it’s, I don’t know, a place to refer someone to, if they say, "Well, Muslims aren’t speaking up loud enough" or whatever. Because while I don’t feel that Muslims should have to answer for the actions of other Muslims, the fact is, many people feel that we do have to answer for them. And if our stance is "I don’t have to answer to you", or "why should I have to apologize", etc., it could have the unintended backlash of creating more hostility toward Islam and Muslims. And maybe there is a difference between apologizing and answering for. Or maybe we should try to explain, rather than apologize. Granted, every time we have a terrorist plot or terrorist attack somewhere, or some Muslims somewhere do something "bad", and I get the CAIR press release in my email, a part of me winces, because I’m like here we go again, coming out with a press release, in an attempt to reassure or please people who aren’t going to be reassured or pleased in the least. And I feel like what’s the point? Because to some people, the very people who are trying to be reached by these press releases, aren’t going to come to any new understanding about these press releases, and it seems that all they will think is, "Well, they have to do that, they have to look good, they don’t really mean what they say". It’s just like when you’re blind, and sometimes, no matter how much you try to convince people you can do things, and no matter what kind of proof they see in front of them, they will still continue to think that blind people are incapable of doing anything for themselves. And let me run into a wall, or trip or spill my milk as I’m trying to pour it into my cereal, and all of a sudden, it doesn’t matter how good I am at my job, or how well I can cross a street, or run a computer, or feed myself, or whatever, all of a sudden it’s like, "See we knew she couldn’t do it, we knew she’d mess up". And so the same could be said for Muslims, because as much as CAIR or ISNA or ICNA or any number of Muslim groups or individuals speak out against terror, or give in charity to non-Muslims, or whatever, the first time there is a terrorist attack or plot or whatever, all of a sudden, it’s back to square one, back to the drawing board, and back to the "see, we knew Muslims really weren’t peace-loving" etc. I guess comparing being blind to being a Muslim is kind of a stretch, I mean, the last time I checked, blind people weren’t being harassed, or a blind school wasn’t vandalized because blind people went there, although I guess in some parts of the world blind people aren’t treated that well. But I’m only speaking from my experience living in America. But anyway, I see a lot of similarities between my experiences being blind, being Muslim, and being both blind and Muslim. And being blind and Muslim, dealing with the Muslim community’s reactions to me is a blog post in itself. You know how you guys get the "oh they’re a better Muslim than us because they’re converts" bit? Well, magnify that about 10 or 700 times and that’s about how people seem to view me, I feel. Although, if I’m such a "good Muslim sister", not many people ask if I’m married or want to be married, which makes me wonder if they think, "oh she’s blind, she can’t be the dutiful Muslim wife and cook and clean and take care of her husband". Oh, but I’m digressing. In short, while I don’t feel like apologizing to anyone, or "explaining" things to people, either about my blindness or being a Muslim, sometimes, I understand why a sort of "explanation" is needed, simply because most Americans are ignorant about Islam. Although, I’m not sure what good said "explanation" would do. So what am I saying anyway? The truth is, I don’t know. But I’m leaning toward the "I shouldn’t have to explain anything to anyone, because if you want to know, you’ll learn, and if you don’t, you don’t" side. So maybe I’ve not totally formed an opinion on this issue. Although there is always the exception of going out of your way to explain things to people who truly want to learn.
